Dubya's new speech writer

by Swickley 9 Replies latest social current

• 

  Swickley

  ...in case you missed it on 60 minutes!!

  If I Were Bush's Speechwriter... By Andy Rooney
  CBS News

  Sunday 2 November 2003

  Years ago, I was asked to write a speech for President Nixon.

  I didn't do that, but I wish President Bush would ask me to write a speech for him now.

  Here's what I'd write if he asked me to - which is unlikely:

  My fellow Americans - (the word "fellow" includes women in political speeches):

  My fellow Americans. One of the reasons we invaded Iraq was because I suggested Saddam Hussein had something to do with the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center. No evidence that's so, I wish I hadn't said it.

  I said we were going to get Saddam Hussein. To be honest, we don't know whether we got him or not. Probably not.

  I said we'd get Osama bin Laden and wipe out al Qaeda. We haven't been able to do that, either. I'm as disappointed as you are.

  I probably shouldn't have said Iraq had nuclear weapons. Our guys and the U.N. have looked under every bed in Iraq and can't find one.

  In one speech, I told you Saddam Hussein tried to buy the makings of nuclear bombs from Africa. That was a mistake and I wish I hadn't said that. I get bad information sometimes just like you do.

  On May 1, I declared major combat was over and gave you the impression the war was over. I shouldn't have declared that. Since then, 215 American soldiers have been killed in Iraq. As the person who sent them there, how terrible do you think that makes me feel?

  I promised to leave no child behind when it comes to education. Then I asked for an additional $87 billion for Iraq. It has to come from somewhere. I hope the kids aren't going to have to pay for it - now in school or later when they're your age.

  When I landed on the deck of the carrier, I wish they hadn't put up the sign saying MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. It isn't accomplished.

  Maybe it should have been MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.

  I've made some mistakes and I regret it. Let me just read you excerpts from something my father wrote five years ago in his book, ?A World Transformed.?

  I firmly believed we should not march into Baghdad ...To occupy Iraq would instantly shatter our coalition, turning the whole Arab world against us and make a broken tyrant, into a latter-day Arab hero ?

  This is my father writing this.

  ...assigning young soldiers to a fruitless hunt for a securely entrenched dictator and condemning them to fight in what would be an unwinnable urban guerrilla war.

  We should all take our father's advice.

  That's the speech I'd write for President Bush. No charge.
• 

  czarofmischief

  If I were Andy Rooney, I'd bitch and moan and whine too, because I'd wasted my life doing hack journalism for a defeated ideology.

  CZAR
• 

  Aztec

  Swickley, don't you have anything better to do?

  ~Aztec
• 

  Guest 77

  Chapter 7

  Is Golf Really Fun?

  Let me imitate Andy Rooney of 60 minutes to answer this question.

  Is golf really fun? I'm trying for the life of me to understand how you can associate golf with fun. Fun to me is playing with my grandchildren, going to a circus, amusement park, skiing. swimming or going on a picnic. Fun to me is laughter, cheerfulness, enjoyment and pleasure. Did the meaning of fun change somewhere during my lifetime without my knowing about it? How can one have fun and be frustrated at the same time?

  How can this game be called fun when golfers swear, break and throw their clubs, argue have temper tantrums, talk and mutter to themselves? Yet, they swear they are having fun. They have fun beating their friends but do their friends have fun in losing? Is having fits of anger, frustration and throwing clubs fun? Is losing fun? Do wives answer the phone and say to the caller asking for you, "Oh Dan is out having fun today?" How is it wives do not associate golf with fun? The only fun part of this game that I see is that people must have a good time being frustrated. Maybe I should try playing golf. Now, wouldn't that be funny.

  This is only part of a chapter from a book titled, 'The ABC's Of Golf.'

  Guest 77
• 

  DakotaRed

  You should have heard his view of the French he gave on February 16, 2003;

  ANDY ROONEY ON THE FRENCH
  If you missed Andy Rooney on Sunday night, read on. Most that heard him couldn't believe their ears. They kept expecting CBS TV network to cut him off. Here's what he had to say:
  
  You can't beat the French when it comes to food, fashion, wine or perfume, but they lost their license to have an opinion on world affairs years ago. They may even be selling stuff to Iraq and don't want to hurt business.
  
  The French are simply not reliable partners in a world where the good people in it ought to be working together. Americans may come off as international jerks sometimes but we're usually trying to do the right thing.
  
  The French lost WWII to the Germans in about 20 minutes. Along with the British, we got into the war and had about 150,000 guys killed getting their country back for them. We fought all across France, and the Germans finally surrendered in a French schoolhouse.
  
  You'd think that school building in Reims would be a great tourist attraction but it isn't. The French seem embarrassed by it. They don't want to call attention to the fact that we freed them from German occupation.
  
  I heard Steven Spielberg say the French wouldn't even let him film the D-Day scenes in "Saving Private Ryan" on the Normandy beaches. They want people to forget the price we paid getting their country back for them.
  
  Americans have a right to protest going to war with Iraq. The French do not. They owe us the independence they flaunt in our face at the U.N.
  
  I went into Paris with American troops the day we liberated it, Aug. 25, 1944. It was one of the great days in the history of the world.
  
  French women showered American soldiers with kisses, at the very least. The next day, the pompous Charles de Gaulle marched down the mile long Champs Elysee to the Place de la Concorde as if he had liberated France himself. I was there, squeezed in among a hundred tanks we'd given the Free French Army that we brought in with us.
  
  Suddenly there were sniper shots from the top of a building. Thousands of Frenchmen who had come to see de Gaulle scrambled to get under something. I got under an Army truck myself. The tank gunners opened fire on the building where the shots had come from, firing mindlessly at nothing. It was a wild scene that lasted, maybe, 10 minutes.
  
  When we go to Paris every couple of years now, I rent a car. I drive around the Place de la Concorde and when some French driver blows his horn for me to get out of his way, I just smile and say to myself, "Go ahead, Pierre. Be my guest. I know something about this very place you'll never know."
  
  The French have not earned their right to oppose President Bush's plans to attack Iraq.
  
  On the other hand, I have.
• 

  DakotaRed

  Now, if only poor old Andy could make his mind;

  Muslims and Democracy

  17 April, 2003

  Things are good. We?ve won. Saddam Hussein has been toppled off his pedestal ? literally and figuratively.

  I?m a born optimist. I always think things are going to come out OK, but even with the success we?ve had in Iraq, it?s hard to see the bright side of anything when you look at our whole world now. There are so many bad spots that if it were an apple, you?d throw it away.

  So many people on earth aren?t civilized by our standards and don?t enjoy the comforts of a real home or any kind of cultural life that separates human beings from the lesser animals. Here it is 2003 and even civilized nations spend more money on ways to kill people than they spend educating their young.

  The military budgets for many countries are a disgrace to mankind. The expenditures are all listed under "defense" even though there?s no likelihood whatsoever that most of the countries will ever be attacked and have to defend themselves. If they were attacked, their armies wouldn?t be able to do anything about it anyway; they?re probably big enough to keep the citizens poor but not big enough to protect them from an enemy.

  Take Zambia. I?ve picked Zambia at random. There are 10 million people in Zambia. They have horrible AIDS and famine problems but spend $65 million annually on what they call "defense." Wouldn?t you think Zambia would abandon its military budget and spend that $65 million on trying to correct those problems?

  Here in our wonderful United States, we?re spending something like $455 billion on the destructive weapons and armies of war this year, and $53 billion on education. Does that seem good to everyone but me?

  I watched the victory celebrations in Baghdad and have seldom in my life been so pleased to find I was wrong. I did not think we should attack Iraq without the approval of the United Nations. The UN was wrong, I was wrong and George W. Bush was right. Fortunately, he?s President and I am not. There?s a lot of the world left that needs straightening out, however, and I hope he doesn?t set out single-handed to do it with military force.

  For some reason I don?t understand, we have made our prosperous civilization the envy of many people in the world but, while they like our standard of living, our cars, our music, our food, our technology and Coca-Cola, we have not always made our case for the democratic system that enables us to have those things. Democracy has been so good for us and seems so incontrovertibly the best system of government that we don?t understand why the people of every country on earth have not insisted on democracy.

  We?ve had a most notable lack of success exporting democracy to Muslims. About three quarters of the 145 non-Muslim nations in the world are democracies, or call themselves that, but of the 47 Muslim nations, 36 are not democratic. From the President on down, we are religiously correct enough to publicly respect Islam. In private, however, we question what it is about the religion that so often leads its followers to reject the system where the people choose for themselves how they will be governed. One of the unfathomable mysteries of history has been why so many people, given free choice, choose not to be free.

  I am optimistic about life in general but specifically pessimistic about the long-term potential for peace on earth.

  http://www.canarsiecourier.com/News/2003/0417/Arts_Entertainment/004.html
• 

  SixofNine

  Now, if only poor old Andy could make his mind;

  One needs information to "make his mind". Accurate, truthful information. (highlighted for the low IQ, scumbag idiots in the world who can't see the importance of that point w/o bold text and yellow flag)
• 

  expatbrit

  highlighted for the low IQ, scumbag idiots in the world who can't see the importance of that point w/o bold text and yellow flag)

  I appreciate your consideration. No really!....lol

  Expatbrit
• 

  SixofNine

  It's no trouble at all.
• 

  Swickley

  Swickley, don't you have anything better to do?

  But, Aztec, there's so much more!

  Just trying to do my part to get y'all to read more and open your minds. After years in the borg, ex-JWs often do not know how to think for themselves. Just doin my part...

  THINK... IT'S PATRIOTIC!