Sex and Love, Advice? Regrets and Stories?

by Letty 8 Replies latest social relationships

  • Letty
    Letty

    Do you guys have any advice on dating worldly people?

    How do I not freak out during my first date with my boyfriend? How can I avoid being awkward?

    And what should I know about sex and physical contact? I’m teañly scared and nervous about a lot of things. Basically can you guys be my parents for a second and give me the talk? I’m like genuinely lost I don’t know how to act like a normal person when it comes to dating and relationships.

    Also do you have stories or experiences with dating and love inside the organization or outside? Any crazy things or funny things? Are there things you guys regret or would have done different?

  • Drearyweather
    Drearyweather
    Do you guys have any advice on dating worldly people?

    If you are a JW and want to date a wordly guy, then sooner or later you will come to a crossroad where you will either have to select your boyfriend or your faith.

    How do I not freak out during my first date with my boyfriend? How can I avoid being awkward?

    Why avoid? You are not in a board meeting or an interview. These funny moments adds to the fun and may become cherished memories in the years to come (if you both decide to marry).

    During my first date with my now-wife, I slipped and fell down while entering star-bucks, while my wife spilled coffee all over her dress. I had also planned an elaborate set-up for proposing to her, but a local protest that day spoiled it. I had to propose to her sitting in a bus-stand. We still cherish these moments, and every year during our anniversary, we go to the same bus-stand, take our vows and go to that star-bucks outlet to have a snack.

    And what should I know about sex and physical contact?

    Sex before marriage comes with consequences if you are raised in a religious household or a closed culture. If you are ready to accept the consequences, only then go ahead.

    I’m like genuinely lost I don’t know how to act like a normal person when it comes to dating and relationships.

    Don't "act". Be what you are. That will save you a lot of problems later on.

    Are there things you guys regret or would have done different?

    Yes, I should have married my girl earlier.


  • Half banana
    Half banana

    One of the big problems with having been a JW is that our sense of self was very distorted, What we did was let an organisation dictate who we were, what we should do and how we should think AAAAARG! ...........instead of being ourselves.

    To do anything outside of the old religion requires that we learn who we are first.

    There was a limited feeling of security being a drone within the hive but successful humans never live this way, we have free will, which we were deprived of and a right to determine what we want to do and a right to be who we want to be.

    The reason I say this is because having been used to rules for everything, it takes time and thought to get free of those enslaving beliefs courtesy of the Watchtower.The fact is that it is our birthright to make up our own rules.

    Nevertheless all humans live in societies where we share a collective custom of how we do things which is called morality.

    So .........1 find out who you are

    2 set your own boundaries

    3 be yourself.

    Dating should be fun!

  • jhine
    jhine

    Hi , l would say much the same as Half banana . Do not be pressured into doing anything that you as a person in your own right feel uncomfortable with . lt doesn't matter anyone else thinks is OK or normal , you have to stay true to yourself and remember that other people need to and should respect your right to have boundaries .

    Jan

  • zeb
    zeb

    Go out with a small group it takes off the pressure.

    Avoid alcohol or keep it toa limit.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    Take it from someone who knows a lot about Real Estate -- "Get a lot while you're young!"

  • ttdtt
    ttdtt

    DesirousOfChange, Ahmen!

  • Onager
    Onager

    My biggest regret is not taking up the opportunities offered to me when I was young and single. That way I might have come into my marriage with experience and fewer hang ups and so would be a better lover for my wife.

    (It's been a few years now so I am improving, but DAMN my wife has had to be patient with me!)

  • just fine
    just fine

    Don’t take it too seriously. Contrary to Watchtower beliefs, dating is supposed to be fun, it doesn’t mean you are going to marry this person, but you can find out a whole lot about yourself. It’s a chance to explore your likes and dislikes and have some fun. Don’t put pressure on yourself that this is “the one”.

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