Nothing to do with being a JW but being human..

by aikido1914 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • aikido1914
    aikido1914

    Rejection May Be as Tough as Physical Pain By PAUL RECER, AP

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    WASHINGTON (Oct. 9) - A rejected lover's broken heart may cause as much distress in a pain center of the brain as an actual physical injury, according to new research.

    California researchers have found a physiological basis for social pain by monitoring the brains of people who thought they had been maliciously excluded from a computer game by other players.

    Naomi I. Eisenberger, a scientist at the University of California, Los Angeles and the first author of the study to be published Friday in the journal Science, said the study suggests that the need for social inclusiveness is a deep-seated part of what it means to be human.

    ''These findings show how deeply rooted our need is for social connection,'' said Eisenberger. ''There's something about exclusion from others that is perceived as being as harmful to our survival as something that can physically hurt us, and our body automatically knows this.''

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    Eisenberger and her co-authors created a computer game in which test subjects were led to believe they were playing ball with two other players. At some point, the other players seemed to exclude the test subject from the game - making it appear the test subject had been suddenly rejected and blocked from playing with the group.

    The shock and distress of this rejection registered in the same part of the brain, called the anterior cingulate cortex, that also responds to physical pain, Eisenberger said.

    ''The ACC is the same part of the brain that has been found to be associated with the unpleasantness of physical pain, the part of pain that really bothers us,'' Eisenberger said.

    "There's something about exclusion from others that is perceived as being as harmful to our survival as something that can physically hurt us...."
    -Scientist
    Naomi I. Eisenberger

    Eisenberger said the study suggests that social exclusion of any sort -- divorce, not being invited to a party, being turned down for a date -- would cause distress in the ACC.

    ''You can imagine that this part of the brain is active any time we are separated from our close companions,'' she said. ''It would definitely be active when we experience a loss,'' such as a death or the end of a love affair.

    In a commentary in Science, Jaak Panksepp of the department of psychology at Bowling Green State University in Ohio, said earlier studies have shown that the anterior cingulate cortex is linked to physical pain.

    He said the new study by Eisenberger and her co-authors demonstrates that the ACC is also activated by the distress of social exclusion.

    ''Throughout history poets have written about the pain of a broken heart,'' Panksepp said in his commentary. ''It seems that such poetic insights into the human condition are now supported by neurophysiological findings.''

    The tendency to feel rejection as an acute pain may have developed in humans as a defensive mechanism for the species, said Eisenberger.

    ''Because we have such a long time as infants and need to be taken care of, it is really important that we stay close to the social group. If we don't we're not going to survive,'' said Eisenberger. ''The hypothesis is that the social attachment system that makes sure we don't stray too far from the group piggybacked onto the pain system to help our species survive.''

    This suggests that the need to be accepted as part of a social group is as important to humans as avoiding other types of pain, she said.

    Just as an infant may learn to avoid fire by first being burned, humans may learn to stick together because rejection causes distress in the pain center of the brain, said Eisenberger.

    ''If it hurts to be separated from other people, then it will prevent us from straying too far from the social group,'' she said.

    10-09-03 1534EDT

  • berylblue
    berylblue

    Welcome, Aikido Great post.

  • arrowstar
    arrowstar

    Aikido -

    Welcome!

    What a great post. I believe it's true. No matter how hard we convince ourselves that we can be alone (and we can be...) it's just better when you're with someone/people.

    Lisa

  • codeblue
    codeblue

    Great Post!!!

    I have always wondering why I feel the way I do with the major things in life I have went thru. Thanks for finding this information. I now know it is a medical reason for why I feel the way I do...not just an emotional thing...

    Thanks again!!!

    Codeblue

  • Been there
    Been there

    Welcome Aikido,

    Good post. I can see many examples where this would make sense.

    This board for example. There has been several threads about people replying to posts and what makes one more popular then another. Why some people can say something from the heart and get almost no replys and others can cry about a hang nail and get 3 pages of sympathy (total exaggeration on my part, kinda) but it feels like a rejection and painful to the one getting no responses to their pain.

    I worked for a man once who showed an example of this. He lived with a girl who was pretty, sweet, loving and young. Her father was a deacon of the church and she was totally going against what she believed to be with this guy (she could have done much better). She wanted to be married and have children, she would make a wonderful wife and mother. After years of living together and her wanting a commitment from him (so she could have children) and giving him a deadline she left him to pursue her dream of marriage.

    My boss had a problem with commitment to anything. It took him a year to buy a pair of boots. He had to research the performance, R factor etc. of many boots to find the perfect pair. Took him months to research and buy a truck. I'm sure he was applying the same principles to finding a wife. I think it came down to not wanting to fail at what he decided, his decision had to be the perfect one.

    He (and everyone around him) was in total hell for a year while he tried to prove he was mister wonderful to get her back. He was a mess emotionally and physically. He didn't want her, he had never said anything nice about her, didn't act like he loved her...............until SHE rejected him. He didn't want her or kids (he said he was afraid there might be something wrong with them) but the rejection by her was too much for him to bare. He would sit in a corner and rock, he would cry, he would talk to total strangers in a store about his sorry love life. He was useless for one year. He finally got her back and instantly started treating her like crap again. She had dreamed of a nice wedding she settled for a quicky wedding and a small reception of family. Last I heard they still had no kids (9 years later).

    Of course we also have the shunning of witness family and friends. This is the theory behind that..............

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface


    First I'm gonna copy ARROW

    Aikido - Welcome! What a great post. I believe it's true. No matter how hard we convince ourselves that we can be alone* (and we can be...) it's just better when you're with someone/people.

    * And we have to realiased (If we are sure that we are not in the wrong) that sometimes it is better than guetting on our knees (I know some people does) for people who does not deserve it. My choice anyway !!! Cause in doing that we are giving them (an individual or a group) the power to do worst and more to ourselves and other people !!!

    And BEEN THERE : Yeah ... I know a lot of people who are acting like that !!! It just SUCKS !!!

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