Dose age and the reasons for leaving affect the out come

by joe134cd 7 Replies latest jw experiences

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  joe134cd

  Firstly for anyone leaving is don’t get involved in alcohol, drugs, parties, and sleeping around, because it will just come back and bite you in the arse.

  I have a theory that those who leave the religion at an older age do better than those who leave at a younger age.

  I think to that the reasons for leaving are quite different between the age groups.

  I sometimes wonder if many of the under 30’s use the short comings of the religion, as an excuse to pursue the above mentioned life style. Of course they end up bring the poster child for what happens when you leave Jehovah’s organisation.

  Talking as a person who left in his late 30’s. One thing I was great full for, was JWs stance on substance abuse, sexual practice etc. This has been something I have benefited greatly from in later life. I left purely because of a vote of no confidence of 8 fat guys in NY State. My reasons for leaving were intellectual rather than secular, and I wonder if this affected my life choices when I left the religion. I still maintain the same life style as when I was a JW. Perhaps more so as I run 30km a week, and have done so for a number of years. My health is +A, and I have no regrets. I wonder if I would of had the same out come if I had left at 18. Just my musings.
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  LongHairGal

  JOE134CD:

  You are probably right that the outcome is usually better when an older person leaves the JW religion. They have the wisdom of having lived longer and are probably past the point in life of doing stupid things. Although there are probably exceptions to the rule for both.

  I was in my 40s when I left the JW religion but I also was not raised in it. I also came in a member of the workforce so I wasn’t ‘afraid of the world’ like a lot of Witnesses are. My main reason for deciding to leave was the 1995 Generation teaching. But, I had other reasons - both secular and intellectual as you say.

  I also never succumbed to vices when I left partly because I dabbled a bit before I joined the religion and was not attracted to it. I like a healthy lifestyle and do things in moderation.
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  smiddy3

  Its complete bullshit that the JW/WT religion teaches that when a person leaves the religion they will start dabbling in immoral practices sleeping around getting into drugs ,joining the occult and becoming involved in whatever else the religion forbids .

  None of this ever happens .OK maybe one or two people that would have done it anyway while still being a Jehovah`s Witness.

  While I think of it their are/were many indulging in those practices while still being a member of the religion ,they were just leading double lives and never got found out.
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  DesirousOfChange

  Frankly I think many who leave do get involved in practices forbidden by the religion. Things that are "immoral" to JW's, but likely not so to the "average Joe". Recreational marijuana is becoming acceptable in many US States. Grossly immoral to a devout JW. My 65 year old fabulously successful conservative (rabid republican) attorney friend asks me recently if I am "420 friendly".(No. Not that it's "immoral". Just not my drug of choice.)
  

  Any kind of sex (even masturbation and especially anal or oral sex) by single JW's is "immoral", whereas "normal", healthy, single adults are going to have sex (if they can arrange to do so). JW's who leave that have suppressed same-sex attraction for years are going to at least experiment with it. Many "normal" youths (especially girls) have done that by High School and may have even tried threesomes.
  

  So, yes.......all those self-righteous JW's look down with disdain at all those who have left the flock to pursue their "immoral" desires. Desires and actions that are probably just "normal" things to all their "new" friends and associates.
  
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  just fine

  I left in my 20’s and spent a little bit of time drinking and carousing 😀. It was fun to have girlfriends to hit the town with, go to concerts, go on dates without the pressure of “will I marry this guy?”.

  After that time I got my shit together, went college, got married etc. I have an awesome job/career and have been happily married for 20 years.
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  BluesBrother

  I left in late middle age, because I had seen the truth about "The Truth" . The family were shocked of course and believed that I would go the way of 'worldly men' , grow a beard, get drunk, chase women and end up leaving them . That is what a lot of dubs think , whether it is taught by WT or not.

  That made me more resolved to not do those things ( I might have tried a beard except I had to look smart for work ) Instead be the best person I could reasonably be. I also recognized that I had caused them problems so tried to be nice.

  20 years later the relationships are better than they were when I was an overworked and stressed Elder , I can only speak for myself. If I had been free to try the other things when I was young and single, who knows?
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  Vidiot

  joe134cd - "...I have a theory that those who leave the religion at an older age do better than those who leave at a younger age... I think too that the reasons for leaving are quite different between the age groups..."

  Agreed.

  Based on my observation...

  ...young folks who leave do so typically because sometimes it's just too hard to follow all the rules (I personally suspect it's due to being typically outgoing/extroverted individuals who simply need a fuller life just to feel whole, whereas introverts and the socially awkward have a much easier time of it, but I could be wrong)...

  ...whereas older folks usually WTexit because they've figured out it's not actually The Truth.

  There's always exceptions to both, of course.
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  BlackPuddingEater

  Glad to hear you are fit and well joe134cd. I disagree most strongly, and am doing fine thank you for asking. Left at 16, out of the family home by 17 and following the advice of Mr Ian Dury took liberal serving of sex and drugs and rock & roll. I have recently take up the NHS couch to 5 k challenge as I'm not getting up my 2 allotments (400 sq yards) so much under the current inconveniences, into week 3 now. Non drinker, non smoker of tobacco though a constant partaker of marijuana. Good job in engineering, above average wage, married over 20 years, 2 lovely kids. Just like you no regrets.

  So what if my reasoning was mainly hormonal instead of spiritual? I think you are missing the point, in this case it is not the journey it is the destination. Admittedly there were some times where my naivety of the worldly world put me in vulnerable situations. My upgrade and reboot had a couple of false starts but if you keep your eyes on the prize and all that.

  If I had not got out so young I would of missed life and it has been wonderful to see on the other side of the cage. So I don't have a relationship with my progenitorial family but when my girls were young they never sat for a single hour in a kingdom hall or knocked on any doors unless it was to call on a friend of there choosing.

  I've paid prices, taken wrong decisions and been forced to survive on my good looks and stunning personality. That's not 'life after the JW's' thats just life!

  I sometimes wonder if many of the under 30’s use the short comings of the religion, as an excuse to pursue the above mentioned life style.

  Stop wondering, it's true! Many people use many excuses to be gettin jiggy with it, not just lapsed Jws but every glorious pan gendered, pot smoking rebel rousing worldly one of us. Nor is this a sign of our decadent modern ways, young people have been sexually curious and rebellious throughout time. Again not life after JW's, just life!

  When a youngling post here it breaks my heart knowing that there is a life wasting. The reason that so many become a poster child is they are deliberately unprepared and unsupported.