by Tashawaa 5 Replies latest jw friends
Just curious... for those of you that are "out" and you're lucky (oops, bad word) enough to still have some family talk to you, how do you cope with their hope.
Namely, the hope they hold out of your returning to the fold. Do they hint at it, pressure you, etc.?
Hi, love your username.
I think you have to cope by being strong and doing what works for you. With your own happiness and well being your main focus.
I know some people have to be fence setters for a time, but I dont think it is healthy to do that. Have you ever set on a fence? It gets mighty uncomfortable on there.
With the borg, you are either in or out. No in betweens. It isnt like that in the real world, thankfully.
But back to your question, how to deal with THEIR hope? I don't. I deal with my own. They want you to sell books and make money for them, I want to be happy, and be as good a person as I can be. It is a contradiction in ethics, and in living.
Little Witch
I stopped attending meetings 1 year ago. I'm neither DF'd or DA'd at this point. Most of my JW family still talks to me, with the exception of one strict sister.
Every once in a while they "encourage" me by asking when I'm going back to meetings. It's difficult because I want to defend myself but I don't want them to be see how much I distrust the WTS. I try to find some sort of balance.
I don't give them a false hope that I'll come back some day.
I'm disfellowshipped so..
No pressure, No hints, No talking to J.W. family members or J.W. old friends..
I do what I feel is in the best interest for myself and my family without interference.
sincerely
special k
I'm trying to get ready to go out for a big breakfast... I have this cool little resturant across the street and they make the most amazing food.
But, back to the topic... I've been through the hardest part - hurting them. I'm doing whats right for me, and I've lost alot of family. Every so often though, the "encouraging" pops up in conversations. I hate it! I ignore it, and don't respond to them, nor do I give any false hope... its just very irritating. Part of me just wishes that they would fully accept that I'm out (DF'd) and leave it at that. But I guess their mentality holds out a small hope that I'll "wake up" and hit "rock bottom" and come back. Thing is, I hit rock bottom when I was "in". Its been all up hill since!
Thank's LW - I've lurked for a couple of years and still have the tendancy to just lurk... as you can see from my posts!
Hi I am new here, and enjoy reading these posts, it is so nice to know I am not the only one going through the same thing! My family "marked" me for a couple of years after I stopped going to the meetings , I am not Disfellowshipped, but a year after leaving I celebrated Christmas.They keep on saying I should come to my senses. They are upset that I will not even go to the memorial, but my view is all or nothing, and if I went I would give them false hope. They still talk about the meetings etc but I switch off, I have told them the more they nag me about it the further away it pushes me. That seems to have worked so far, I hate hurting them but I need to do what I believe in and that isn't the "truth" . Bye for now, Sidney x
