do you go bonkers over your older childer?

by orangefatcat 4 Replies latest jw friends

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  orangefatcat

  The reason I ask this question is because today my 24 yr old son had a bench warrant issued against him.

  Why you say, because he didn't know how to say no to drugs. He got caught with enough drugs to be charged with possesion and with the possiblity of trafficing. They fell out of his back pack infront of someone who works in law enforcement. Can you imagine that? This happened to him over a year ago and he has had to have regular blood tests to prove he has no drugs in his system.

  Then he hires a lawyer, the lawyer keeps asking for continuances. So months go by and my son pays his fees to the lawyer. Then a few months back my son wrote a cheque and it bounced, So he had to cover that cheque. I helped him.

  Then the lawyer tells him he wants the rest of his fee, 500.00$ My son didn't have it so he borrowed it from me to pay this lawyer. Guess what my son didn't pay the guy he used the money to pay up back rent and food money. Rather than tell me he was having difficult time in this area. I would have understood. Today he gets a message on his answering machine from his lawyer. David is not representing you and so on Tuesday at court the issued a bench warrant. You better go to the police department asap. and turn yourself in. So this is where I am tonight a 24 yr. old crying and pleading mom please help me. I ask him were is the 500$ I gave you. Well it went on other things. I was very angry, but this is not the time to be angry he needs me. I want to scream, but I can't he needs me. So tonight he will spend the night in a holding cell and make an appearance before a judge tomorrow. I told him throw yourself at the mercy of the court. Explain what happened with the lawyer. If you need a lawyer you can get a court lawyer as today my son also was let go from his job, the reason given it was only temperary, which is a lie. They used him to set up a new department store. He emptied four transport trucks with out a forklift and they just used him and then spit him out.

  Am I furious, oh yes, I am mad as hell, but I know things will surely come together at sometime and in the meantime I think I have developed several more gray hairs . But in the meantime me son needs my love and I do love him very much.

  Oh well that is life.

  Orangefatcat
• 

  Frannie Banannie

  Well, SHEEEEEEEEEEEEE-IT, OFC....welcome to da "been der, gotda" club...My grown children would frighten you, sugah...

  Frannie B
• 

  Brummie

  No wonder your avatar is having a bad hair day!

  Your a good parent, seems he has to learn the hard way, sometimes we have to make our own mistakes and hit rock bottom before we realise how not to live our lives. I hope he respects you for standing by him. He is on a learning curve, he will be fine in the long run.

  Sorry for both of you to have to experience this

  ((( )))

  Brumm
• 

  Been there

  Sorry to hear about your son OFC.

  Kids do have a way with making poor decisions alot of times. Learning to make better choices comes from paying the price of making bad ones. He is your son and you love him but don't go crazy trying to fix his life, as a 24 yr old adult he is in control of how hard or easy he wants to make it by the choices HE makes.

  You are giving him the most love by letting him squirm abit (hard as it maybe), for he will (hopefully) learn that the choices he is making have consequences that he does not like. HE chose not to use the $500 for the lawyer and it made his situation worse. You did your part, HE didn't do his so he is paying for that choice. As a parent it is hard to watch them keep slamming against that wall. But the more pillows you throw out to sofen the blows the longer he can keep doing it. If you have to pay money again you might want to leave out the middle man (your son).

  Good luck OFC, they do grow up (sometime)

  I just had to laugh at this.............................Sorry

  Can you imagine that? This happened to him over a year ago and he has had to have regular blood tests to prove he has no blood in his system.
• 

  orangefatcat

  Been There: I didn't proof read before I posted as I was in a bit of a hurry. When I re read I chuckled too. " No blood in his system.". Oh dear where was my brain at that moment. I told you I was going bonkers, or batty as some say.

  Well an update, Richard spent the night with us and has decided he will turn himself in on Monday to the Police.

  I can only imagine how he must feel, but we had a good talk and apparently he saw me posting in here and said what are you doing and I told him, nothing really. After we went to bed he found my post and read it and he said to me this morning mom I love you.

  I told him if you read things about you on this JWD it is because the people here are my friends and I just like to talk and vent. But I want you to know no matter what I love you very much and he said I know mom even when I do dumb things and I am grateful I have a mom like you. He is in reality a great kid, but just did a stupid thing and I know he has learned his lesson. He starts College in a few weeks and he loves what he is studing so he is going to keep himself clean.

  He has to remember they monitor to see if he has "Blood in his system"

  Well thanks for you comments a your moral boosts. Love you all!!

  your friend.

  Orangefatcat......