Fading?

by neverin 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • neverin
    neverin

    Hi All

    I have been lurking here for about 2 years now and have decided to 'come out' of lurkdom. A brief history - although I have never attended meetings my Dad and 2 brothers are elders - Mom has never been 'in the truth', Dad joined when they had been married about 10 yrs.

    Anyway cut to the chase - I was abused by my brothers friend - I was 10 her was 22 - and I only told my parents 2 years ago, aged 32. The whole mess is a very long story and perhaps I will take the time to tell all in the future. Suffice to say that my Dad was very let down when he realised that his fellow elders, and every level above couldn't give a toss. I have noticed that over the past few months he is not too fussed about missing the odd meeting and tonight my Mom told me that as his hall is being refurbished his Sunday meetings have been altered to evenings. He has told her that as Sunday is the day me and my family visit he wont be going to his meetings but 'may' pop along to the odd meeting at other halls 'now and then'.

    Do you think that he is perhaps make a discreet withdrawal? He is secretary in his cong and gets really P***ed Off about other elders thinking it's a doddle and leaving him to pick up the crap. It seems that to outside observerers he is talking the talk but I see that he is no longer walking the walk. This would have been unthinkable a few years ago, in fact he has been known to go to meetings when on his last legs (tired, ill etc).

    What does everyone else think - am reading too much into this? My brothers are very 'in' along with wives, kids etc so the ramifications of him leaving are abviously huge.

    Regards

    Neverin

  • Stacy Smith
    Stacy Smith

    He looks like he is having his doubts. Maybe you can ask him?

    Welcome to the board too.

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    Could be -- it is amazing what is the final straw for a lot of people including elders -- for some it is not one thing but a whole series-- but I would not mind betting that he is one a bit like me -- who gradually is not bothered about missing afew meetings , next to go will be Saturday morning field service, then he will possibly resign as secretary but saty an elder for a while -- there could be a whole range of scenarios --I am sure I speak for my fellow posters on this board when I ask -- please keep us informed of what happens. By the way I am appalled and really sorry to hear about the abuse you suffered. I hope you can start healing somehow

  • justhuman
    justhuman

    Fading it is the best to do

  • Been there
    Been there

    Welcome to the board Neverin.

    So glad you decided to come out of lurkdom! It does sound as though your Dad is losing interest. Maybe you could let him know you have noticed him skipping the meetings and ask him if everything is okay or is he having some problems (doubts) that he can't talk to the elder sons about and may not want to worry your Mom. He may open up to you for being concerned about his out of characture behavior. You could let him know if he has doubts he could safely discuss them with you and not fear any action against him. It may lighten his load to talk to you. If he does want out you can get help here to make it easier. Hang around and let us know how he's doing.

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    Welcome to our world, and congratulations for not ever being a JW.

    I agree with the previous poster. Let your Dad know you are a safe person to talk to, and that you will honor his confidence and not tell anyone. Then don't tell anyone!!

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