hi guys..its been a long time since i visited here..i just really need some suggestions right now...i turned 17 in may..im still living with my parents.. we moved a couple weeks ago from prairiville to new iberia louisiana......i dont want to go to the meetings anymore..i have told them that time and time again..but to no aveil..they wont have it...its either me go to the meetings,have friends that are witnesses or have no social life whatsoever...i have really gotten close to my cousins they have helped me through a great deal of stuff,now all of a sudden i cant hang around them anymore..im not allowed to even visit them..im just really upset and dont know how to handle all this..should i just go back to the meetings so they can get off my back? please i dont know what to do..
hi guys..im back
by Shytears 9 Replies latest jw friends
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Beans
My Presiding Overseer father told me that when I turned 16 he could really have no say. So when I turned 16 I told him I wasn't going to the meetings anymore and I haven't been back since that day in 1984, sure he was constapated for two weeks and people were calling me to come back and have bible studies but I politley said no thank you and now live a free life!
Beans
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95stormfront
Unless you have a relative thats willing to let you move in and take you away from all that WT nonsense, it appears that your only option is to suck it up go to those meetings, as repulsed as you may be by them.
At the same time, look for ways you can begin to support yourself or educational opportunities that will get you out of the house.
You'll need these things because if they are working that hard to isolate you because you don't want to go to the meetings while you are inside their house, you'll likely not get any interaction from them at all should you move out and stop going all together.
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Makena1
Sorry to hear that you and your parents are having such a hard time. It may be little consolation to you at the moment, but please remember they are doing what they think is best for you with the direction they receive from the borg.
Having to be dragged to the meetings when you know "what you know" about the truth is tough as well. Suggestion: go to the meetings, take notes on anything that is "new" or sounds like speculation - something beyond what is written. Do some research in the Society publications and share discrepancies with your parents a little at a time. Share the same info with us on the board. Most of us here no longer attend, but many are interested in news.
In my case, when I was your age, I was regular pioneering after high school. However, I came to almost blows with my dad when he discovered that I had found the girl of my dreams and wanted to get married when I was 19 instead of going to Bethel / Gilead like he did. I was a good JW kid, and still got very little credit when my goals differed from what my parents had in mind.
The only way I got my dad to relent, was that I was in a position to move out on my own and did not ask or need his help financially.
Some questions I have for you:
Are you baptized?
What are your short term goals? Additional schooling after High School? Will you need your parents help financially? How important is it to you to have a relationship with your parents on any level should you choose to disassociate yourself, or otherwise rebel against their wishes?
While I understand and sympathize with your frustration, I am still an advocate for young people who live at home and rely on their parents for support to follow their direction whenever possible. When you have kids of your own - you will appreciate this!
Best wishes for better days!
Makena
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Shytears
Are you baptized?
What are your short term goals? Additional schooling after High School? Will you need your parents help financially? How important is it to you to have a relationship with your parents on any level should you choose to disassociate yourself, or otherwise rebel against their wishes?
yes i got baptized at the age of 13..something i really regret now...
well as of right now im trying to get my ged..and hopefully ill be going to cosmotology school soon....
its really important i still have a relationship with them..i dont think i could not have one with them..
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Elsewhere
((( Shy )))
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liquidsky
Well Hello Shy!
Haven't seen you post for while. I'm sorry things are rough. Just try to keep as busy as you can with school, get a part time job and time should faster. I know its hard, I went through the exact same thing from age 16-18. Just hang in there.
Liquidsky
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mouthy
Glad to see you post shy.My advise ( from a Granny's viewpoint) Is go back to the meetings -To keep friends-Mum & Dad happy. Dont rock the boat until you are able to finance yourself.. Independently..
You realise it is not the truth- So keep your prayers To "OUR" Heavenly Creator.Ask Jesus to Guide ,Lead, Direct you...DONT FIGHT WITH THEM.....Life is too short.Get your education! Most important- try to find part time work-( that might let you off a few meetings)Just remember to show a respectful attitude with Mum & Dad. You asked for advice -I am giving my two cents worth....I missed you!!Grace -
joannadandy
Hey shy!
I wondered where you went to, it's good to see you back, but it's too bad you still have to deal with the same old same old.
Honestly, it sounds horrible, but stick it out until you move out on your own. It's for the best. It will save you strife and stress to just bide your time. I know it's hard, (I REALLY DO!) but eventually you will be out on your own and free to do as you please.
Hang in there--post when you can, or when you just need to talk, we're all pullin for ya!
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Big Tex
This is a tough one. If you're dealing with black and white people (you're parents) who are part of an all or nothing religion (the Witnesses), then you need to make some choices and be willing to compromise a little. How much are you willing to go along until such time as you can stand on your own two feet? If you want a relationship with your parents, then you're going to have to find a way to set a bondary for yourself that keeps you from being too involved with the Witnesses, while at the same giving your parents just enough so that they'll still associate with you. It's a fine balance and one only you can determine.
Good luck.