Vacation reality closing up on my wife?

by StarTrekAngel 1 Replies latest jw experiences

  • StarTrekAngel

    This time apart from all things JW has been a real blessing for us as a couple. At least for the time being. We landed back in the US last weekend and today is meeting day. I am pretty sure the wife is going to head out to the meeting. We did not have a single argument and felt pretty connected the whole time. We did not had any issues for about a month before our departure but it has not been uncommon in our household to feel the tension in the air when it was meeting days. I think she felt it as well. Busy with the packing and preparations, she did not attend the last two meetings before our departure.

    For the good part of two weeks into our trip, I felt pretty relaxed. We drove out to the northern part of the country to do some site seeing. We had agreed to wing it with our itinerary and to just drive and find a hotel wherever night caught us. We ended up in this amazingly beautiful winery where the old owner's mansion has become a hotel. We caught a really great deal and were able to secure a suite for ourselves. We toured the winery and got to sample wine and on top of that, they also had a wine taster at the hotel. Long story short, we were not drunk but fairly tipsy that night. The place was really fancy and the rooms fancier. We had a balcony with a great view of the vineyards and the surrounding mountains, which changed colors as the sun was setting. After the wine and the dinner, we had some of the best sex of our lives.

    What surprised me was that towards the end of the evening, we were laying there and she broke out crying. She told me how much she loved me and how much she was enjoying our time together. I asked her why she was crying and she started telling me how much she was starting to feel old. That our kids were growing up so fast and that she felt time was slipping by. That she felt that just yesterday she was 16. She said she wanted to spent the rest of our days like these, traveling whenever possible and enjoying each other's company. Mind you that we are both in our late 30's/mid 40s so technically we are still young. I don't know about you, but, considering we were a bit drunk, and that we are in our late 30s mid 40s, I don't really think the term "the rest of our days" really applies to other more than a feeling of age rather than a real threat of dying soon. The funny part is that I had already proposed to her something similar to what she mentioned that night, except that I was not drunk when I did. Eventually, later after my mention, she accused me of planning a path to divorce because I could not put up with our differences. (there is a bit of a background to such claim. When my parents decided to split, they had planned a really nice trip for the family and it turned out really well, but almost immediately upon returning, they divorced, so she was accusing me of planning something similar)

    What I had proposed to her a while back was something similar. I told her that we really had our basics covered. A comfortable home, secure jobs and the children at an age that they are no longer babies. That we do not need a fancier car or a bigger house (Thanks WT... jk ) and we could spend more time with them and creating memories. Wether is traveling or going to the movies or a local park more often. Something that will last a lifetime.

    Non of the JW stuff came up during the trip, except at some point, towards the end of it, we are driving and we passed by a group of what was obviously, a group of sister preaching door to door. I was talking to her about some of the roads that we had traveled the previous days and all of a sudden she excitedly said "Look at the sisters!!". I felt a bit interrupted. I took a few seconds of silence and then proceeded with my conversation as if I had not seen them. I guess she took the hint because she did not say anything more but I am sure she knows that I did not like it. I admit that may be I am wrong to despise the fact that we bump into a group of real people with real feelings. It would have been justified of me if we had passed by a GB member. So I felt a little bad afterwords. I was a bit aggravated for the rest of that day. Other than that it was pure fun.

    I am a bit skeptic, I don't want to have false hope but I have a feeling that this wine brought the true personality out of my wife. Chances are, that if confronted, she will probably blame the wine or may be say that she meant something different. But at least, when I thought of the same thing, it meant that meeting and JW stuff (and the arguments it creates) takes away time from family fun and memories. She figured that much later after that initial conversation.

    There are a couple of examples in our circuit of women that leave the JW religion when they hit their mid life crisis stage. But they also happen to cheat on their husbands when they do. So while I think it would not be our case (we have a more than healthy sex life and she knows I am very open minded about many things), I am a bit cautious as to where this may lead. There is also the culture factor. Most couples in our circuit are Mexican and the Macho culture is well ingrained in this area, which gives synergy to the JW misogyny. I am not that kind of person since I was raised in a different culture.

    And that is it...

  • Mandrake

    I really hate the macho-culture and stuff... On the other hand, wine is probably the best thing human kind has achieved ever... I really hope your wife will comprehend that no-life can be well spent sticking to the WT religion, I bet that she will take a stand for something beyond the wt, her life and yours together, but it must be her own decision, just take an expecting role... my mother turned to that approach 3 years after her divorce, and I never saw it coming, now we have birthdays and stuff (she even bet for our country's soccer matches!)

    Sadly, I'm very familiar with that move of the "golden vacation" before splitting up, i guess married couples wanting to divorce aren't much creative...

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