Who am I? - How to find the well lived life after undue influence

by Luther bertrand 8 Replies latest watchtower medical

  • Luther bertrand
    Luther bertrand
    Hello, Everyone! I was added fairly recently to the AAWA network (Thank You Richard E. Kelly ) and have been a lurker/fader for many years. The ex-jw community, from a far, has offered me so many ways to help go through my own thinking while awakening and working through my own Crisis of Conscience. However, I do have a critique of our community. It seems that many of us, though not all, often talk more about what they don't believe and what we see wrong, a reactive way of thinking, and less more about how to make things right, a proactive way of thinking, while in our respective paths. So, I hope to fill that gap. I want to share two things that helped me considerably. However, before I share these tools I need to talk about the big question, "Who am I?" I agree with Stephan Hassan when he says that even if we are born into a cult, which I was, we are all born with an authentic self. It is my opinion that discovering our authentic self unhitched from the the undue influence that some of us grew up under is key to discovering a life well lived. It is in that vein that I would like to share two psychological questionnaires that have been critiqued via peer reviewed journals and validated statistically and scientifically to have value for many people. The first tool is called the Myers-Briggs, this tool allows you to see your strengths and faults and gives you the broad strokes of your personality type! In the psychology classes I took the full version, which actually costs money to take, I took a free version that gave me just about the same result and will share the link below, though the free version just has a tad less detail. I scored an INTP/ENTP, let me know what you scored! The next tool is called the VIA, it is rooted in positive psychology, which basically focuses on the positive or healthy aspects of ones psychological states to improve the short-comings. We all have strengths that we can use. My strengths, for instance, "strengths are "Love of Learning" and "Creativity", My two lowest are Humility and Perverseness. So a way I plan on becoming a better version of my self is to use my love of learning and creativity to research what it means to have Humility and to have Perverseness. Here are the tests that helped me understand my self and hopefully they will be of benefit to you as well. I would also like to suggest to the admins that we have a subject area for Recovery in this, the greatest board for exjw issues on the entire internet.

    For the Myers-Briggs go here .. http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

    For the VIA go here...

    If you have difficulties or would like someone to walk through what your scores mean, feel free to pm me.

  • cofty

    Hi LB, welcome to the forum.

    I have taken MB tests a few times and always get ENTP.

    There are a few threads with lots of members results if you do a search

  • nicolaou


    Interesting. I'll take the VIA test when I have a bit more time.

  • Londo111


    I am INFP.

  • sowhatnow

    wow, took the free test you had link to, and as an entj, i saw those career choices to be in my opinion, mostly male dominated industries, lol.

    math and science was never my strong point, so how on earth id ever understand any of those careers is beyond me.

    well no matter, at my age that ship has sailed.

    I have never taken any of these personality type tests and came out with a solid answer, Im always border-lining on one of three. my answers depend on a situation, not simply guessing how Id react IF.

    who am I?

    I might never know, no more time left for me to have a career.

    Im 53,[ not 33] living day to day to survive, i have no way to explore what 'could have been'

    and so far, there is no one to find me, and know me, and show me.

    so what now? lol

  • mrmagic
    I have always known who I was.
  • Luther bertrand
    Luther bertrand
    sohatnow,,,, The answer to the question of you who are you is not so much a destination but the experience of who you are as you go through life. Personality tests should not be viewed as a definitive answer but merely a signpost or indicator of who you are.
  • mrmagic

    What Luther bertrand says is true. Personality tests can help you in your journey to self awareness and knowing yourself, however they are only a tool that can/cannot help you, depending on your own unique makeup and life circumstances. No matter how old you get, you will always discover new things about yourself that you did not know, new abilities, new skills, new feelings. I've seen people discover themselves to have talent in painting and art after 49 years of living a non-creative life.

    Others I've seen go from a lifetime of sedentary habits and overweight problems to realizing they have athletic talents in their old age. You think you know who you are, but you don't know where you will end up.

    You could end up being a published author one day or running a homeless shelter, creating a business, or even being an integral part of positive change in some other way that you never thought possible for yourself.

    You aren't your past, but your past is part of where you are now - both good and bad experiences. It's up to each of us to take all of what we've lived and experienced and to make our own personal meanings from that and then live according to that meaning. No external source has the right or ability to do that for you. For some people it will take a lifetime to figure out their own meaning. It's a work in progress.

    Having said that, I recommend a book called "What Color Is Your Parachute" by Richard Bolles. While at first glance it appears to be a career/job hunting guide, it has a different approach to the subject by having you work on your life purpose and who you are. There are some excellent exercises in there, along with some personality test resource that you may find of interest. Once again, the book is no substitute for your own experiential work, however, it is a really great guide not just for career/job hunters, but for anyone in general who wants to gain some insight into themselves and who they are.

  • Luther bertrand
    Luther bertrand
    mrmagic yes boles color method is alot more simple and i have had some say that it is more fun than the other tests that I mentioned. I agree the good life is not a destination but a journey!

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