How can I capitalize on this (trying to wake her up just a little bit more)? And how can I make her feel less shame and guilt? There were several reasons she didn't go to some meetings recently. Either somebody in the family was sick or we had better and more fun things to do as a family (which I encourage of course).
Well a couple thoughts come to mind...
on the shame and guilt part of your question...
tell her Jehovah understands why she hasnt made the meetings. He sees her heart and knows she is a good person.
Tell her the amount of meetings a week is a man nade invention not a God made one. After all, a few years ago we wouldnt dream of skipping a book study mid week and now its ok! Same with a four day assembly - now its 3 and thats ok!
Public talk was an hour - wouldnt dream of leaving half way through...now its a half hour and thats OK!
The times and dates and lengths of meetings will always change. And that is all ok.
The brothers at Bethel farm used to skip meetings when the orchards were ready for picking and that was GB sanctioned.
No one talks much about that but there are many, many reasons why skipping meetings is perfectly ok and has zero to do with Jehovah.
That chinese brother in prison for years was never at a meeting and he kept his own personal faith strong and was held up as a sterling example.
If you sit the reason he didnt make the meetings aside, the point remains, one can be as spiritual as one desires even with years of "missed" meetings.
That is the take away from his experience.
As for the first part of your question, the more time she is away from the constant litany of indoctrination, the more her eyes will open naturally. Its like letting in fresh air, so to speak