by Zana 21 Replies latest jw friends
In the beginning of my "fade" years ago I remember answering this nosy question by saying it was more upbuilding to stay home!
As far as JWs getting in anybody's face in front of other people - that happened to me once and I deflected it with sarcastic humor.
This is why I don't want to be around groups of Witnesses anywhere. The herd mentality always gives some JW idiot the confidence to be nervy. I don't want to have to be nasty to some Witness, because I will.
Q: "Why haven't you been to the meetings?"
A: "Because they suck."
Zana
How can I capitalize on this (trying to wake her up just a little bit more)? And how can I make her feel less shame and guilt? There were several reasons she didn't go to some meetings recently. Either somebody in the family was sick or we had better and more fun things to do as a family (which I encourage of course).
Well a couple thoughts come to mind...
on the shame and guilt part of your question...
tell her Jehovah understands why she hasnt made the meetings. He sees her heart and knows she is a good person.
Tell her the amount of meetings a week is a man nade invention not a God made one. After all, a few years ago we wouldnt dream of skipping a book study mid week and now its ok! Same with a four day assembly - now its 3 and thats ok!
Public talk was an hour - wouldnt dream of leaving half way through...now its a half hour and thats OK!
The times and dates and lengths of meetings will always change. And that is all ok.
The brothers at Bethel farm used to skip meetings when the orchards were ready for picking and that was GB sanctioned.
No one talks much about that but there are many, many reasons why skipping meetings is perfectly ok and has zero to do with Jehovah.
That chinese brother in prison for years was never at a meeting and he kept his own personal faith strong and was held up as a sterling example.
If you sit the reason he didnt make the meetings aside, the point remains, one can be as spiritual as one desires even with years of "missed" meetings.
That is the take away from his experience.
As for the first part of your question, the more time she is away from the constant litany of indoctrination, the more her eyes will open naturally. Its like letting in fresh air, so to speak
Thank you for your replies, especially millie!
My wife is actually spending more and more time with family and non JWs and less and less time with JWs and JW activities. "Breathing fresh air" and liking it, too. She doesn't know the word "fading", but to me it seems like she is maybe subconsciously doing just that. My concern is about what I read on here, some user experiences. That some JWs leave the Org but the org never leaves them. I fear that deep down she will always think that they are actually right, at least about the more fundamental stuff. I see my job is to show her that leaving the Org doesn't mean you have to leave Jehovah and Jesus, too. And that if the GB is wrong about some small things, or the elder/cong handles some local stuff badly, how can you still be sure that they are right about the important stuff and the big things.
in this recognizable situation I gave an elder the reply "I understand you feel obligate to ask me this question and I respect you. I hope you respect me, having no intention to give a reaction". He tried again ofcourse and I told him again "I respect you, I hope you respect me" and again. He gave the last words "no, i don't respect you" and that was it, he showed his cards.
JW: "Why haven't you been to meetings?
YOU: "I successfully bid for some secondhand items at the local auction and turns out they were literally possessed. You know what that means has now happened to me, don't you? Entirely your choice if you stick around and keep me company."
My reply: I've lost my interest in trying to help this wicked system of things. Let the massacre begin!
That's usually the point where the busy body quick steps away.
GORBATCHOV:
That's an interesting conversation you had with this elder. When all was said and done he said he didn't respect you, although you led the conversation, in a way.
But, I hope HE didn't have the last word. I know I wouldn't have let him. I would have told him where to go and how to get there before I turned and walked away. This is why, as a "fader", I won't let them engage me in a conversation.
