I finally understood the final hurdle...

by The Rebel 8 Replies latest jw friends

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  The Rebel

  Well the "Pious" Elders tuned out to be " Super Pious" and very good at reciting from the " Very Super Pious" Elders Manuel, but actually " Super Pious" Elders are quite harmless when ignored.

  As for my former friends in the congregation, well throughout the ages there have always been people prepared to stand up for truth and friendship, sadly my " former" friends from the congregation proved not to be people of such noble character, instead only capable of giving short contrived speeches about why they missed me at meetings, snooze, and no great loss, as I have found the community outside the W.T organisation positively buzzing with unconditional friendship.

  Anyway I feel I have overcome all hurdles in my exit from The " W.T" except one,which is how I deal with my disrespectful father. Even when I was a witness in good standing, he had a pretty disrespectful and rude word power, now it's completely inappropriate. I have tried pointing this out, even had long periods without contact, but I don't like doing that as it denies my Mum seeing her grandson.

  However what i have concluded is that this isn't W.T at fault. People be they " Parents" Super Pious" Elders, or members of the congregation have a choice how they treat people. All we can do is try and understand that some people must have had very hard pasts, or reasons for poor behavior which, whilst not justifiable, does allow for a degree of trying to understand.

  Any Thoughts?

  The Rebel.
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  Xanthippe

  disrespectful father. Even when I was a witness in good standing, he had a pretty disrespectful and rude word power, now it's completely inappropriate. I have tried pointing this out,

  Yes even when I was pioneering and doing all the stuff my mother wanted me to, I was never good enough for her. Some people are just bad parents, that's it. Now my life is much simpler. It's cause and effect. If people treat me badly, I stay away.

  Of the few family members left, I arrange to meet pleasant relatives on their own away from obnoxious ones. Life's too short to be verbally abused by people who should love you.
  
  
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  faithnomore

  Some people need to be loved from far away for ones own well being. Often times the abusive ones have been abused. We often don't know what one goes through or has gone through in life, some people are masters at hiding their pain. All we can do is show compassion and kindness and hope it conquers, if it doesn't then at least we know we tried.

  best of luck.
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  rebelfighter

  Rebel,

  It was my mother I avoided. Starting at the age of 12 I learned to not go home till certain cars pulled up in front of our home then I knew she would not beat me up or cuss me out. Later in life one of that I will never forget, like I could never be good enough for her - I owned my Financial Accounting firm, she looked at me and said you need to go get a real job. I just not refrain myself, I just busted out laughing and walked away. I had 2 kids in private school, a maid, a mtg payment more then most people make and a husband who sat at home and did nothing SO obviously what I was doing was not REAL but it paid for all this.

  Now my sister, the princess, who sat at home all day watching TV could do no wrong she was just the most perfect thing that ever walked this earth. Like my mother neither of them would know how to tell you a truthful statement if their life depended on it.

  I supported these two people financial for many years. For years I could never ever figure out why my mother treated my sister like a princess and put up all the lying. She never trusted a word I said and I would never lie to her and when she was sick and in need - yeap you guessed in which one was there for her certainly not the princess.

  At the age of 62, I finally found out why she hated me so much. I never needed my birth certificate until I moved to a new state. The name I grew up as was not me. My dad was not my dad. She was not married when she had me. Obviously she took it out on me my entire life.
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  pbrow

  We can all point fingers at the "evil" watchtower but at the end of the day it is parents who do not report child molesters, its brothers & sisters and family friends that shun us. The people who want to be run by an organization, allow themselves to be run by an organization. They are at fault for not wanting to think and second guess what they are being taught. When all is said and done, it is the rank and file dubs who commit these acts of inhumanity. The consequences we deal with are a direct result of our "family and friends" actions.

  We all have choices. We choose to be free

  pbrow
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  ssn587

  I chose freedom
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  babygirl30

  My father and mother are the same way. They can rip a person to shreds with their judgements and opinions on what is 'right' under JW doctrine, but sadly they choose to rip into ME...as their subject. No matter how many times I have confronted them both on their verbal abuse, it is always defended by their saying it's out of love...or Jehovah gave them the responsibility of raising me and that I have to honor them. TWISTED mentality if you ask me!
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  stillin

  My wife's dad was he same way. She stopped speaking with him for the last 15 years of his life, even though they were both Witnesses. Now he's gone and she is carrying on the family tradition. :(
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  freemindfade

  Elders are quite harmless when ignored.

  True statement. This is where their power ends. Once they can't make you feel the pressure of guilt and obligation they become just what they really are. Nothing .