Using the depression card: Only when critical to family?

by JWdaughter 8 Replies latest watchtower medical

  • JWdaughter

    I just was reading a thread and it occurred to me that "using" depression as a way to deflect from WT obligations is a mistake. It feeds their sense of superiority-because when you do finally leave or get kicked out, they will say how leaving Jehovah ruins lives. They won't do anything with you anymore in any case, but why feed their delusions?

    Yes, the WT does put people in depressions, but how about being too HAPPY to put up with all the doomsaying? How about life being too good to live like it is over already? The weather is too good, the kids are filled with energy and busy with school, work is going great. . . We always say that living well is the best revenge-so LIVE WELL, and crow about your joy. Not in being out of the org, but in being part of this glorious world that God created for us! Then invite them to dinner and have fun without religion being the topic. YOU will not forsake the gathering of yourselves with other believers, you just don't want to waste your time in the meetings when all they do is repeat the same stuff you already learned. Nothing about Jehovah's word changes, right? You actively read and study scripture! When it comes down to it, you are not doing anything against the WT or the elders. If you are going to play a game, take the highest road possible (might want to refrain from offering them a joint, though!).

    What kind of an asshole JW is going to argue that statement? (I know the atheists on this board will take issue with it, but you are dealing with JWs, not atheists). Being in the org was depressing, sure. But you are OUT now, even if you don't want to DA for family reasons Stop being depressed. Stop playing that card.

    I think that it also puts those who are truly depressed in a bit of a pickle when it starts getting obvious that it is a common apostate ploy to get out of meetings. God knows that the JW life is depressing enough-all we need to be doing is making it harder on those that are suffering from a real illness as a result of this cult.

    Emotionally, the WT has done a number on everyone it touches. I guess I prefer the idea of promoting happiness and a truly better life as an alternative to meeting attendance rather than depression and vague physical illnesses. My idea is not going to work in every situation, and I'm so long out of it that I am not a good experiment for how it works, but I saw the office space video ( can't say I'm "missing" it) on another site and it got me to thinking. Life is good! Why put a sad face on things and give them any ammo about how leaving jehovah/meetings destroys lives?

  • jwundubbed

    Most of the times that I have heard of using depression as a deflection it was used because the person had a sticky situation with the people who were in it. Mostly it seems to be used for people who are fading. Sure, life is great... but it isn't great right away. And if you have family that are still in it and you are trying to leave and still have a relationship then telling them you are too happy to do God's work won't make sense to them. God is happiness even when it feels like misery. If you are assuming that people won't have anything to do with you, then it makes sense to promote how happy you are. But if you are still trying to have a relationship with people, then it makes sense to meet those people on their level. Speak to them in words and ways that they understand. They will not understand that happiness can be real and true outside of the cult.

    Your point about people who really are depressed being put in an awkward position is a good one. But how many people who are fading/leaving are not in some kind of depression as well? And it is a cult. There are no good answers. There are choices and few of them are good. No choice is ever going to be good for everyone when you are dealing with a cult. And realistically, you can't please everyone even in the best circumstances.

    If telling people that you are too happy to be a JW is right for you, then you should definitely do that.

  • OneGenTwoGroups

    Depends what your goal is. If you wish to be dfd for apostasy, go ahead and show the elders/nazis how happy you are about leaving.

    If your goal is to try to help others leave as you are leaving play ANY card you want. The cult is a cause of depression itself, not a manager of it. In my true believing elder years (I had 14 of them), I couldn't have cared less about WHY you weren't active, just the fact that you were and were already property of Satan.

  • ttdtt

    Yea nice idea - wont work.

  • 2badsosad

    When I started to become less and less active, even before I realized it was all BS, i started using depression as an excuse for not going. I didn't even realize I was depressed. Took me a few years before I realized just how depressed I really was. I thought I was making up an excuse when in fact I was really very very sick.

  • smiddy

    Sorry JWdaughter , but you are being naive ,

    No doubt you have good intentions with your proposal but really ? Having a get together with JW`s and they wont /cant talk about religion ? Pigs will fly before that happens .

    And if you are a person who is irregular at the meetings/field service you would be " marked" as a person not to associate with , not being spiritual enough.

    You state , { crow about the " joy of living in this glorious world GOD created for us" } ?

    Jehovah`s Witnesses don`t live in the now , they live for the future paradise ,this world is coming to an end ,it is controlled by Satan the Devil .And they pray for it`s destruction ,along with millions of humans .

    They are not interested in this world as it is , they are focused on the "New World " that is coming.


  • LisaRose

    The reality is that people who choose to slow down meeting attendance and service when fading will come under a great deal of pressure from well meaning family and friends, and some people are just not in a position to be open about their feelings. When you only choices are to be completely honest and lose your family or to tell a minor fib, I am not going to condemn anyone for choosing the lesser of two evils.

    This is a short term tactic, but it can be very helpful during the transition from full believer to inactive JW. It can give the person time to become more sure of their feelings, to get their family used to the idea that they don't want to attend meetings and to get the elders off their backs. Yes, it would be great if everyone could be completely open and honest about their reasons for leaving, but that isn't the reality for most people.

  • Phizzy

    As said above, it depends what result you want. I did not want to DA or be DF'd, I wanted to be able to talk to my extended JW family.

    I played the depression card, the Elders backed off, even though they had enough on me to DF me, and now, years later my status ( inactive, non-attending) allows free access to my JW family. Result !

    I doubt the JW leadership will let this state of affairs continue, they fear the freedom of speech people like me have.

  • Ame SF
    Ame SF

    I am a teenager, so in a few years I AM GONE!

    I do think that once I'm out I will be much happier so you make a fair point, JWdaughter.

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