DJS, I do not hold to the Jehovah's Witness belief that billions of people are going to be destroyed, the vast majority of the world population. I have always had difficulty with that concept, even as a Jehovah's Witness.
The Bible says that God does not desire any to be destroyed. That says to me that he wants people to live and loves them. How he intends to accomplish this, I do not know. Still I think he has the right to do with his creation whatever he sees fit. Whether that means life or death for me or anyone else I leave up to God.
I like to think that there is hope for life beyond the short life we have on this earth. I personally have been blessed in many ways in my life, even though I have had much difficulty as well. Others have not been so lucky. Simply by accident of their birth, little children have starved to death, been tortured, beaten and raped to death. This breaks my heart beyond measure. One of the things that keeps me going on is the hope that these little children will get the chance to live again and be truly loved. I want them to know that they are loved and that I already love them. There are many others of all ages that have suffered horribly in life. I want to believe that their will be justice, love and happiness for them. I think the pain of human and animal suffering would be impossible for me to bear without this hope.
As for LGBT ex-JWs, I would like to hear more from them and their experiences. I read some of the experiences of gay ex-JWs on jwfacts.com and my heart was very touched from their experiences. It is very helpful to hear these experiences because it shows the world from a very different prospective and helps instill compassion and understanding. I never knew that gay JWs struggled with feelings of lack of acceptance or feeling that God didn't love them before I read those accounts. I always thought that God loved them even more because of the faith and sacrifice necessary to remain celibate for Him. The idea that God doesn't love you immensely just because you are gay, bi, trans or what have you, I think that is a human induced thought. I think God is much more understanding than we give him credit for.
Personally, I find the concept of someone having to live life without a life-partner difficult, but not impossible. Why the Bible condemns homosexual behavior when homosexuals are incapable of changing their sexuality, I do not know. I am still trying to understand this myself. However, I do not feel that I have the right to judge God. He is our Creator and as such has the right to define the rules. He knows many things that we do not and must therefore have reasons for everything that we may not be privy to.
As far as feeling that you aren't a good enough person, that God is disappointed in you, that you aren't doing enough for God, etc, etc, this is basically what the JW cult drills in everyone's heads constantly and incessantly. I have felt inadequate and not good enough for the entire time that I've been a Witness. That is a heavy weight to bear and I think one of the reasons that so many JWs are depressed. That is one of the reasons that I am shying away from organized religion as a whole and just trying to find God and Christ for myself.
If you want to continue to both look down on me and talk down to me for my faith, that is your cross to bear. I have to do what my conscience tells me I ought to.