Tell us a little about yourself and your family.
4th generation jw. Recently married (3 years). Great grandma studies out of the children book. 2 gen later mom helped convert my dad and watched as slowly my whole immediate family fell away leaving me in a dark place where the congregation was my only family... for a very long time
Were you a born in or a convert?
4th generation born in
Are your parents / family JWs?
My grandma, her son and some cousins and aunts/uncles on that side yes. On my fathers side. No. I think that side is babtist
How many generations have been JWs?
4
Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)
Not really. Ran the literature counter in 1 hall, ran the mics in others. Pioneered sometimes and did a lot of volunteering (rbc MO#3 and such)
Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?
I still do. The thought of something greater out there good and evil just makes much of life make sense to me rather than a mishap of random things. I know not all scientific minds and atheist believe it was random, but without a start I lose my sense of reality
Did you get baptised? When and why?
2008. Wanted more privileges, and thought I would actually end up an elder and help a lot of people with dreams of being a circuit overseer. Plus baptism makes the ladies notice you. Married to a great wife now and both out so that view is lifted
What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?
The importance of physical looks and that a beard is unacceptable. Why were we made with facial hair then? Why can you shave when the law states not to, but a verse before says not to get tattoos. On second thought, isn't the law done away with? Cherry pickin mutha lickas
Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?
Started with loyd evens. Went to my grandmas library to confirm things and I just Dove in. Books can never hide history!
How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?
... telling my mom and slowly showing her things was the most difficult. But she's a woman of research. We've all silently left because it would honestly break my grandmas heart. Othern that pretty easy. I was tired of the two faced friends I thought were real. You get df'd and come back, your old friends treat you like your worth less than before. Thought I was the 1 out of the 99 you know?
Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?
Quiet. Thank God for covid and zoom meetings am I right?
Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?
Mom step dad and wife. Her folks still don't really know but that comes with time. Dad was gone years ago so he was cool about it
How were your family relations affected by your decision?
Not really. Grandma keeps her distance because she can't get evidence from us.
Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?
Not so much. Being a hunter teaches you not to draw attention
How long have you now been out?
Going on almost 3 years. Its hard to say really. I felt out when I was still at the hall
Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left?
Being free. Researching without restriction. Showing people real un edited truth
What are you most proud of achieving since you left?
Finding out who I really am
Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?
The watchtower study. Thats it. I really enjoyed Bible discussion and being the one person who always had an outside the g.b.'s view on everything. Shows you who the sheeple are
Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?
No regrets. Never understood the matrix reference with pills.
Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?
Transfered my faith between me, my research and el shadai
How do you now feel about religion in general?
Religion was even a sham to messiah.. To quote the judge himself "a snare and a racket". It is written "whether there are 2 or 3 gathered in my name, I am there in spirit"
Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?
I hate holidays just because to me they are nonsensical excuses to spend time with people you don't like to by thing to impress people you don't care for. And least mostly anyway. You don't need holidays to be with friends and family. And holidays just drain time energy and money that can go to useful things... I could go on but its just my personal oppinion anyway
Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?
Just one. A friend of my wife's. Shes cool as hell
Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people?
Don't really have any. Got some people who are interested in my background or know people. Besides family and one co worker most people I know have no jw background besides relatives and people they grew up with.
Do you tell people about your JW past?
All the time! People inside and out have misconceptions about ibsa/wbts. Plus I have knowledge and history that I feel is just fascinating. And if my facts are wrong, I love the correction to accuracy. I hope to be a watchtower historian one day. Got a YouTube channel that I need to get back on that was designed for the same purpose
Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?
Neither. Everybody does the best they can with what we got. Everybody has something right. And everyone has a lot of things wrong. We can learn from each other no matter what. I fault no one unless they are malicious and purposely hurtful.
How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?
Absolutely. I tell them I've been praying for you to come see me.
Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support)
Nutural. I keep my personal ministry to where I'm at. I don't consider it activism. But I won't contend either. I just hope it can always be done with love and without animosity
What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?
Some can never be reached. How were you reached? Did something inside you just click or did someone come apostasizing? People are the most unpredictable thing. Thats what makes us so interesting
Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?
Yeah like the catholic church. I think that thats the most highs place and I won't step on his ground. I think it will grow and recead as a tide. Never full, never empty
How has your life been impacted by your JW past?
Great social skills being forced to talk to people. I really think the mental distress of the brainwashing was pretty fleeting for me after I became my own person and found out what I want to do. Pretty anti climactic
Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?
No. We all make our own choices. Life is about choices and consequences. We make those ourselves and we reap those consequences. Its up to us if the choices and results are good and bad. Nkt up to a society you don't like. You can make the best of anything.
JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?
I know good and bad catholics and Baptists and Torah followers &c. Like I said its what you make it. If its bad its no ones fault but your own.
How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service?
Spending time with family working our property and just working a good job.
Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?
Absolutely. My religious history is a passion to me. Soon I will show you guys my library as it is still growing
How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?
Whenever I can. I got so much that takes president right now. But this community is growing fast on me
What do you think of the ex-JW community?
Love you guys, just 2 days in
Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?
As long as you'll have me. I'd still have current jws If they didn't follow a shunning rule. Thats their loss. Lots of never been jws like me and ex jws so I got good people
Do you fear the future?
Never have never will. We can mek the future anything. The present is whats scary
What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?
Be you bro. Never EVER lose who you are
What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?
Nope. If you regret your past then you really don't like yourself. Be proud of you unless you sexually assault or hurt people in any way. Your past made you who you are. Be proud of that
Do you have any regrets about life since you left?
See last question
Can we read your life-story anywhere? (links to online or books)
I'll post it in parts on here soon. I would like to say I don't consider myself an apostate. Just somebody who used to be a jw. But apostates are not bad people either.
Want to share your own story? Please use the Interview with an Apostate: Template and post it in the Personal Experiences & Reunions section with the title "Interview with an Apostate: [your name or alias