Creed - A Satirical Poem

by Perry 7 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Perry

    “Creed” on the World

    By Steve Turner

    We believe in Marxfreudanddarwin

    We believe everything is OK

    as long as you don’t hurt anyone

    to the best of your definition of hurt,

    and to the best of your knowledge.

    We believe in sex before, during, and

    after marriage.

    We believe in the therapy of sin.

    We believe that adultery is fun.

    We believe that sodomy’s OK.

    We believe that taboos are taboo.

    We believe that everything’s getting better

    despite evidence to the contrary.

    The evidence must be investigated

    And you can prove anything with evidence.

    We believe there’s something in horoscopes

    UFO’s and bent spoons.

    Jesus was a good man just like Buddha,

    Mohammed, and ourselves.

    He was a good moral teacher though we think

    His good morals were bad.

    We believe that all religions are basically the same-

    at least the one that we read was.

    They all believe in love and goodness.

    They only differ on matters of creation,

    sin, heaven, hell, God, and salvation.

    We believe that after death comes the Nothing

    Because when you ask the dead what happens

    they say nothing.

    If death is not the end, if the dead have lied, then its

    compulsory heaven for all

    excepting perhaps

    Hitler, Stalin, and Genghis Kahn

    We believe in Masters and Johnson

    What’s selected is average.

    What’s average is normal.

    What’s normal is good.

    We believe in total disarmament.

    We believe there are direct links between warfare and


    Americans should beat their guns into tractors .

    And the Russians would be sure to follow.

    We believe that man is essentially good.

    It’s only his behavior that lets him down.

    This is the fault of society.

    Society is the fault of conditions.

    Conditions are the fault of society.

    We believe that each man must find the truth that

    is right for him.

    Reality will adapt accordingly.

    The universe will readjust.

    History will alter.

    We believe that there is no absolute truth

    excepting the truth

    that there is no absolute truth.

    We believe in the rejection of creeds,

    And the flowering of individual thought.

    If chance be

    the Father of all flesh,

    disaster is his rainbow in the sky

    and when you hear

    State of Emergency!

    Sniper Kills Ten!

    Troops on Rampage!

    Youths go Looting!

    Bomb Blasts School!

    It is but the sound of man

    worshipping his maker.

  • OneGenTwoGroups
    We believe there’s something in horoscopes

    Yes, people that believe in supernatural bullshit like you Perry.

  • neat blue dog
    neat blue dog

    Very thought provoking, Perry. Thanks for posting brother.

  • GrreatTeacher

    I would love to know who this "we" is because that truly is a strange mish mash of unrelated beliefs there.

  • neat blue dog
    neat blue dog

    We as in general public opinions.

  • never a jw
    never a jw

    We as in general public opinions.

    Your statement and the poem fit quite well together under the rubric of Utter Non-sense.

  • azor

    It's amazing how much ex jw fundies sound like active jws. Fear and loathing to the max.

  • cofty

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