My JW mom tried telling me this

by Jayk 9 Replies latest social family

• 

  Jayk

  Going thru a bit of a life situation right now... i should have listened to a few of your a couple months ago. This girl I was seeing has completely stopped talking to me as of 2 weeks ago. She springs on me she is pregnant possibly a abortion, but would consider adoption or sever the rights. I was very supportive, comforting, as I possibly could while she was going thru a emotional situation. But she kept pushing and pushing till she got a rise out of me and I pretty much said "I prefer the abortion, fuck off"...

  She probably isnt getting a abortion but my ex was mad I even suggested it. I know she is against it as well as I am. But I figured I better tell my mom what's about to happen. "Blah blah blah well jehovah tell use because the life was there you still have a chance of being a father".. are you talking about "in new system".. which is what she was referring to. My heart sank and I almost blew up on her but i just dropped it and changed the subject. Thanks for trying to pray on me in one of my most vulnerable times mom
• 

  Ding

  All your mom knows to say is what the WT has programmed her to say...
  
• 

  Jayk

  I wish half the crazy shit she says could be connect to the WT. Then the world could see how fake the ORG is. She stepped out of her act and I got to see the mom I grew up with again and not the "changed women" act she puts on.
• 

  BluesBrother

  It is not just the WT ..No doubt she is shocked and a bit angry at the situation. She is a Mother, after all . Try and cut her some slack.
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  Jayk

  I do try to cut her as much slack. She was only angry that she didnt know I was dating the person I was. Her response was "which of your aunts knew before me" which none of them knew about the pregnancy. But 2 of them knew I was dating the her.
• 

  Pete Zahut

  From reading your post, I'm not exactly sure what took place but if there's a chance that you'd be willing to raise the child or that she might give it up for adoption, you might want to talk to her about all of this again.

  Maybe you could explain to her that you lost your head and have come to grips with the situation and are willing to discuss this again with her.

  If there's a chance that all of this will haunt you in the future, at least you'll know you tried.
• 

  Jayk

  I told her from the beginning I would take the child if she didnt want it. I was supportive and comforting as I possibly could. Any avenue I could take to just calm her down, assure her I'll take responsibility, and keep the peace I did. She kept going in all directions trying to argue. She was probably extremely stressed out and I understand that. Abortion isnt her way, she rather put it up for adoption she doesnt want that to haunt her.

  She finally got a rise out of me and told me I "disgusted her" for the things I said when she had been pretty much using this whole situation to get a rise out of me and bring me to her level..
• 

  Jayk

  She sent me a picture of some paper work from a OBGYN and she said "you dont have to worry about anything, everything is being taken care of". No where on the paperwork it mention a abortion took place. I told her 2 days before I was sorry for what I said and dont do it ill take the baby. Her next appointment is in January to talk about "birth management" which is birth control. Why would she go in January to a follow up appoint for birth control if they could have perscribed it that day.. I talked to a friend who works at a OBGYN and see said she is probably is showing she is pregnant and they will do ultra sound then.
• 

  dubstepped

  Is this "Sara", who you posted about 6 months ago that spit in your face, took a bunch of pills, and claimed to have had a relationship with your friend "Tim"? Or is this your "shameless" relationship with your ex-wife who has all kinds of problems?

  My point? Look at the relationship drama you have. I remember pointing out that you have involvement in the drama and should see a therapist. Did you ever do that? Because you're attracting and dealing with people with a lot of issues. Why do you do that? The scenarios you bring here are highly dysfunctional and one common theme is you.
  

  I say this, not to blame you, but you're the only person in any of these scenarios that you can control or have any hold on. Your mom, your girl, your ex, lots of people all causing your problems, and maybe they genuinely are, but why do you put up with it? Why do you keep putting yourself in these situations? Those are questions that once you have answers to might help you find a different type of person and relationship, because right now they all seem to be train wrecks.
  
  I could ask all kinds of questions here for this one scenario to try to grasp the ins and outs, but I'll leave that to others. I just wanted to point out that this isn't an isolated incident and if nothing else you may have a bad picker. You need to get to the root of why that is and how you can better yourself. Not trying to pile on, I say this because I'd like to see you not have to make these posts and to find healthier options in your life. You blew up at your girl, almost did at your mom, I hope to see you live a life where you aren't having to feel like blowing up and where you don't have all of this drama, and if none of this has anything to do with you then you're powerless to change anything.
  
  Good luck man.
• 

  Jayk

  Thanks dub and I do ask myself those questions all the time to try to make myself better than I was yesterday. Shameless relationship this time. When I posted about her originally I was looking to see if anyone had been in a similar situation (she was my ex wife). When I say "blew up" the only words i said was "i prefer the abortion" she said "whatever you wish" and I said "fuck off for ever coming back into my life"..

  The ex who spit in my face I never even raised my voice to when it happened. Only thing that makes me mad is when me and "shameless" got together I wasn't trying to rush into the relationship. She made me feel like I was leading her on which to assure her i wasn't i committed. But shamless decided to end it because she confided in me something one morning when I just woke up and she said i said something "insensitive". Which I wasnt trying to be she just had a bad night at work.

  Her parents are completely on my side about this. She does this with her family. They dont pander her, but they try too reason with her so she writes them off. I know better also then try to argue with her but she tends to pick fights. Her little brother grilled me when I talked to her parents. (Her parents said I'm always welcome over) Conversation started "I dont even want to talk to you right now", to "you like jordan Peterson and Ben Shapiro? Yeah me to" to finally "I like you more than I like my sister right now.

  I have not seem any therapy personally. But like mentioned above I do watch a bit of jordan Peterson and Ben Shapiro videos. Certain things I came to understand on my own for my own mental health "get good sleep, drink lots of water, stay off drugs, try to right your wrongs." I found out those men preach that type of lifestyle for anyone who has anxiety/depression/or overall bad mental health. I dont expect shameless to be into psychology/philosophy like me. But I hope that with my basic understanding I can help other people...