Garlic, bread, and vampires....

by Muddy Waters 9 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Muddy Waters
    Muddy Waters

    .... being a little facetious today.... :)

    The February 2016 broadcast has got me thinking. And remembering, that once upon a time, in our Kingdom Hall, we were actually counselled from the stage about not offending people when we go in service, for example, by NOT EATING GARLIC or other strong-smelling foods (onions, fish).

    Yes, I believe the organization has a definite bias against garlic.

    Which led me to think about other things they do. Vampire-like things. Now, forgive me, I do not know much about vampires. But there are vampire "stereotypes" or common lore, so I will stick with those most obvious and well known (at least to me, haha).

    So. Here we go...


    - They shy away at garlic. They do not like garlic. Garlic is bad. Too much garlic makes Jehovah sad.

    - They do not like crosses. Crosses are bad, they make Jehovah sad, they are terrible, evil, frightening things to most JWs.

    - They want to take your blood away from you, even if it means your life. You are supposed to bleed to death and die for them.

    - They meet after dark (or sundown) for the most important day of their year - Jesus' death, in which he "poured out his blood" in our behalf. And we are supposed to be grateful and thankful for this, yet we have no part in sharing of this blood. They want it all to themselves.

    Their flock are like little vampires in training, only they learn to reject blood and give it all to the WT, the master vampire.

    - Do vampires not also steal your soul? (the WT teaches that we do not have one).

    - And do they also not like looking into mirrors? (Not seeing, admitting, or acknowledging their own mistakes & errors; or because they have no soul (connection to others and to life outside their box...) Their mirror gives no reflection, or feedback of themselves to themselves; they remain clueless, disconnected, apart, yet still suck the soul and life from their (encouraged to be) meek and sheeplike followers.

    Spooky! "Spiritual" vampires!

    Lots of very interesting comparisons, yes?

    I would love to go on with this analogy, but I do not know much more about (mythical) vampires. But I think I got the main comparisons.

    What think ye all..?

  • David Graham
    David Graham

    They are certainly emotional vampires. I was looking at a couple of photo's of myself today. One from my renewed driving licence, and one from my drivers CPC card that still has my mug on from 2005. The change in me is astonishing!

    My eyes look dead in the 2005 photo with no smile. In my new photo I have a crafty smile on my face that would melt grannies heart lol.

    However, that said. I don't think I will look at garlic bread the same again! I hope I do not break out into spontaneous laughter when ordering this rather delectable food stuffs!

  • Muddy Waters
    Muddy Waters

    So how about that... "Jehovah, the God of the WT vampires."

    If not for the garlic, I may not have ever made the connection.... Thank you, JW broadcasting.

  • stuckinarut2


    Also, the use of "stakes" instead of "crosses"...?

    And Vampires are heartless....

  • Muddy Waters
    Muddy Waters
    Ha! Good one, stuck!
  • OrphanCrow
    And the GB wear gold bling instead of silver.
  • TipsyMangoTea

    Dare I even mention this, the JW Broadcasts are an attempt to make the GB "shiny."

    Twilight vampires, the worst kind~

    ((I'm sorry/not sorry, Twilight fans out there))

  • Vidiot

    "One return visit... two return visits... three return visits...

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx...ah, ah, ah..."

  • Vidiot
  • Muddy Waters
    Muddy Waters

    Haha, too funny, Orphan Crow & Vidiot!

    I have fallen in love with this analogy, lol, so was hoping to get more responses to this thread (which is to me, an incredibly insightful, apt and amazing comparison, lol) especially after the ridiculous Feb 2016 broadcast and their seeming bias against garlic.


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