Update on fade. Elders finally are interested on my "welfare"

by StarTrekAngel 10 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • StarTrekAngel

    So since the last time I posted regarding my fade, you all learned that I was having some health issues. That came along just right to quit going to meeting without raising much suspicion. Somehow everyone at the hall seemed ready to tell my wife they missed me but attended the memorial and no one bothered to take the initiative to back those words with actions.

    I guess that having seen me at the memorial they at least felt bad because last night I got a call from one of the elders telling me they want to come today and visit with me. Despite me not given them any reasons they shot a warning, I guess to put me at ease, saying that there is nothing to worry about and they just want to say hi and see how I am doing...

    Many times we have heard that we should not fear the elders and that being visited by them should not be taken as a sign of something wrong. Why the need for the warning?

    Anyway, the elder in question is a very kind, humble and seemingly honest person. He has had two minor strokes in the recent past and sometimes I wonder (he says it has been stress related) if he is not half awake already but I have no other evidence to go by. I don't know is who else is coming along with him. I told him I would confirm if I am available or not so I still have that option available to me if I don't feel in the mood to meet with them.

  • Finkelstein

    Why the need for the warning?

    Because if its known by these elders that your baptized, they are many times sniffing around to see if your doing anything they can DFed you for.

    They may come by as a encouraging agenda for you to attend meetings etc. but many times that's a pretentious ploy toward other background involving factors ..

    JWS elders are power tripping scrutinizing assholes who play their power roles indiscriminately when they see fit.

    If after the query to your absence from not attending meetings is due to some doctrinal questioning , best to expect them to go after you with JC meeting to sack your ass, which essentially supports that self perception of power.

    Thats why a heads up warning is warranted.

  • Nameless
    I agree with Finkelstein. I missed the memorial and was texted that they forgot to tell me about the date and time. I already knew the information. Well stupid me met with them on the weekend to see how I was doing. It's been kind of rough for me, but I'm starting to get thick skinned about things. Anyways, one Elder was genuine showing concern, but the other was starting to toe the company line, getting a little rougher about things. I left more disillusioned and pissed that I met with them. Guess I was hoping for understanding, but nope, nothing. It's taking me a few days to shake off that visit. My suggestion, don't allow the visit. It's not concern, but to see where you are standing in relation to them. It's like the Miranda rights, anything you say can and will be used against you in their court of law. Avoid, avoid, avoid!!!
  • kairos

    Ask for just one of them to visit you, not two.

    Ask them to explain the 'overlapping generation' change using just the bible, as, 'you are confused'.

    That may be the last time they call you...

  • oppostate

    Turn any shepherding call with more than one elder down!

    Tell the kind elder you'd rather meet up with him for a coffee somewhere and then just chit chat with him and avoid any theo-cultic-talk, to any question he might ask in this regards just say "hum, I dunno, I guess I'll have to think about that" and "hum, I guess I'll have to think about that too" and "I guess that's another one to think about".

    To any theocratese expressions from him squint your eyes a bit and tilt your head like he just said something in a foreign language you don't understand.

    Keep changing the subject to non-theo-cultic topics and try to speak to his genuine personality not his cult-personality.

    Anyway, that's how I handle these types (and their anti-types as well).

  • jookbeard
    usual advice should be heeded, bar all of their numbers, do not return any messages, if they catch you unawares say nothing , dont let them invade your life with their nosey miserable so called concern with your well-being, you know far more about your own well-being than these idiots do.
  • Darkknight757

    After 3 months of inactivity in field service the elders finally wanted to talk to the wife and I. They want to set up a bible study with us to try to "reactivate" us. Be very careful what you say as these head hunters are actively looking to JC anyone with doubts. Tell them your depressed or having trouble at work or that you need to rebuild your relationship with God, anything that will get them off your back.

    I personally feel that ignoring them does little good but creates more suspicion.

  • stillin

    I have told them that "I'm exhausted. I did all I could for years and years and there really doesn't seem to be any reward."

    They wouldn't stomp a man while he's down, would they?

  • dubstepped

    That seems like a good suggestion. ^^^^

    Once they finally reached out to us we sent in disassociation letters, lol. We couldn't stand to play their game. But there's some really good suggestions here.

    Regarding the warning, I honestly wouldn't worry. I've heard it said many times, even from the platform, because people feel like they're in trouble. With you being away for a bit, they probably wanted to emphasize that it was just a friendly call. It probably is, but let's face it, even a friendly call is with the goal of control and pushing you to go back.

  • ToesUp



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