A disturbing reaction.
Earlier today I was listening to a You Tube video about brain plasticity, how our minds aren't hardwired, and that by changing the way we think it can make actual physical changes in the brain.
Which is cool for many reasons. One in particular for me and likely any ex JW is that the way the WTS has programmed us, especially those born in, can eventually get past it.
Then the lecture went further about how meditation and mindfulness can work along with that, and so on. I've been practicing this for well over a year, but none that are connected with religious themes.
He spoke quite forcefully and without straight up saying anything clearly religious he started blending in references to the Bible indirectly. Such as you can have a "new personality" and think about forgiveness and how one can "serve.' He could have just said give back to the community. Then he said a few other key words/phrases from scripture. Religion or spirituality wasn't mentioned in the description. I checked the links to his other lectures, books seminars etc. All that it said was about abundance and attracting wealth.
When he started in on this subtle religious line I immediately thought well forget this and turned it off. I didn't realize it right away but within less than a minute my stomach tightened and I started feeling sick. My earlier good mood turned into something like dread.
When I recognized what was happening and why, I tried to drop the thoughts and continued on. Before long I was back to feeling good again.
This same feeling has come up when I overhear people talking about their church activities. Christan music is always on in my doctor's office and I get the same feeling. Again in a thrift store, the Christan music made me feel ill. I actually had to leave before long.
Is this just me? I don't like these reactions and hope one day I'll be indifferent to religious comments, music etc. Has anyone had something like this happen? Did it go away with time? Thank you for your input in advance.😊
The good news is that it does get better.
Think of it like this, if you get too much alcohol or coffee into your body your body will try to purge itself by puking(vomiting) because your body can only handle so much toxicity.
Same way with religious bullshit. Your stomach will start tightening up and make you want to throw-up because your brain is telling your body it can't handle no more of this religious bullshit.
Now when I hear religious music I just tell myself that when I get home I'll care it once again by blasting some good ole Rock N Roll like AC/DC, Rolling Stones, Aerosmith,Lynyrd Skynyrd,The Beatles etc. (Real music)
Works each and every time for me.
Longgone: Is this just me?
No. It's not just you. What you experienced is called an indoctrinated phobia. It is the result of your experience in the JW cult.
Those phrases "new personality" and "serve" are triggers for us that are ex-JWs.
These induced phobias are difficult to overcome, but they can be by learning about them and by (ironically) engaging in mindfulness practices. The trick is to learn how to be mindful without getting pulled into another cult.
You can do this. Learn to trust yourself. You need no one else.
You're gonna be okay.
Good grief you have Christian music at your doctors and the thrift store? What a weird country. Yes Christian stuff does make me feel ill now, I get you. I'm interested in brain plasticity too and also in the ability to switch on dormant genes. Very interesting.
Personally, i found exposing myself to the actually EVIDENCE and PROOF of Watchtower lying in court, the UN letter and their twisting of scripture to be very helpful. Once you lose all respect for those bumbling old fools in Warwick you stop feeling guilty or afraid of "but what if it is the truth™?!"
It's also made me very skeptical of all religions. Particularly Christianity and Islam.
@longgone: I wonder if you are referring to Daniel Amen, MD and his wife, Tana Amen, BSN, RN. They recently conducted a forum program on WLIW21 (a Long Island, New York PBS station) speaking about the human brain and its function, particularly what humans can do to get their gray matter to work healthily.
However, there is one portion of the program which Nurse Amen pointed out, which is of great interest--and I found to be no doubt true re: JWs=> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-7tySYyytE
What Jdubs are doing for the BORG has affected and is still affecting their brain activity. I'm pretty certain that the healing process starts when one wakes up to TTATT. From that point onward, a person can engage in having a more broader outlook concerning various topics, situations, etc. and do whatever he/she can to have a happier, healthier life.
Thanks very much for your thoughts and suggestions!
There's a lot to think about from them. It really helps to have others who understand where I'm coming from. I wouldn't consider mentioning this sort of thing with anyone other than here. Thanks again. 😊
It's not just you. There's definitely things you can be react to, a conditioned response, that can be different or even the opposite to what you really "think". It can take a while to shake it, sometimes we might never shake it off entirely, but as long as we are aware of it we can not let it rule our lives.
Something that really helped me in the past was a book called "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman. I am actually reading another of his books now (which he coauthored) called "Primal Leadership". I am still in the process of allowing myself to be a person of inlfuence, truly knowing my intentions are good, etc.
How about memorizing a humorous connotation for every theocratic word like "serve"?
serve , my foot, slave, be present in a pretentious capacity ha ha.