Domestic abuse.

by quellycatface 7 Replies latest jw experiences

  • quellycatface

    I swapped my JW prison for an abusive marriage. Now I am free of both.

    My husband targeted me as a JW and managed to isolate, manipulate and control me for 15 years. I was so naive and trusting. I was so used to being controlled by the witnesses, I didn’t realise what he was doing.

    I had 3 major suicide attempts last year and struggle with my mental health. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy. He told me so many lies over the years and “gaslighted’ me, I still doubt my own judgment.

    I feel like I’ve wasted the last few years running around trying to please first the witnesses then my husband and I was never good enough.

    Thank you for listening.

    God bless you all.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    Good to see you on here again

  • LOLS

    Well done too you for getting away from both !!!!
    Even though it doesn't feel like it , you are strong for getting away from the abuse !!!!

    You can now do you & make new wonderful memories .....
    And no matter what they think you are, You are good enough , so walk proud

    Have a Lovely day

  • smiddy3

    I`m happy for you that you have come out of two abusive relationships you are a survivour .

    Don`t put yourself down anymore as LOLS said walk proud ,you are an achiever .

    Take care I wish you well.

    And welcome back

  • Giordano

    Welcome back and good fortune going forward.

    Usually the first thing we encourage is to get some therapy especially with a professional who has some experience with high control religions.

    A high control religion paints the world as a miserable place and offers it's beliefs as the solution. Those who are taught to believe close their eyes to any other way of life and suffer the consequences. But those who fall under the spell of a control freak suffer the most.

    It sounds like you are seeing some of this and understanding that it's bad for you. Don't beat yourself up............. there is not one of us on this forum that didn't fall for some part of the BS of the JW dogma. And never put up with sick characters who don't have your best interests in mind.

    This is a good place to work through each and every issue. Think of this as a gym that you go get stronger.

  • tiki

    Good for you to have broken free! Now concentrate on healing! Best wishes and think positive happy thoughts....and when negativity gets into your head fight it!!!

  • Vidiot

    This is a sad but familiar story.

    Sometimes it feels so foreign when the cuffs come off that some folks find new cuffs without even realizing it.

    Welcome to freedom, miss.

  • quellycatface

    I struggle with thoughts of suicide because I feel such a failure.

    I feel very alone.

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