Crystal Lake, Illinois, Goodbye, and Good Luck

by Phaedra 4 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Phaedra

    I spent the majority of my growing years in the Crystal Lake area, with a watchful eye under the tutleledge of the grownups whom I thought had it all figured out. Milkovetch, Penkava, Redman, Gordon, and Sterne, before the congregations split into 2 in the late 90s, I was already enamored into the truth with total belief and readying for the Revelation Book persecution. then your families crumbled with red letters surfacing all around.

    During and after a storm of controversies, scandals, and the like, I realized all people are people and prone to bad decisions and mistakes. Teens marrying decades ahead, family couples splitting for youngsters, and the usual adultery and whatnot convinced me JWs were no better or worse than anyone else. At first I was crushed at how it could happen in God's true home, but then allowed my doubts to grow and ended up on the outside, perhaps with a more even perspective on humankind and what people really want despite the fairy tales told all around them.

    I am no better than them all, only once I believed I was below them. Now I know better.

  • Vidqun

    Hi there. And welcome! Yes I can sympathize with what you are saying. I also looked up at the "big trees" in the congregations and thought I would never be able to measure up. I was constantly reminded of that at meetings and assemblies. It was as though I was moving under a thunder cloud. It took me over thirty years to move out from under it, an uphill battle no less. Now I realize, we're all the same, each with unique talents as well as distinct shortcomings. Unnecessary to say, the thunder cloud has lifted. I can see the sunlight coming through. As you will often read on this forum, it gets better all the time.

  • joker

    I was part of this hall for several decades.

    Did you know the elder fool named Renfroe ? he was known by the young people in the circuit as the local perv back in the early 90's. he just loved to counsel the younger girls, and did his best to stay away from any young men who really needed help.

    I wonder if he is still an elder ?? More concrete proof that this org. is not directed by God in any way, shape, or form.

  • flipper

    Good point PHAEDRA- We were no better or worse than any of the allegedly " glorious ones " ( elders ) who acted like they were hot shit on a stick. But then again- we were better off and more fortunate to wake up and escape and get ourselves free from a high control organization that wanted to crush and stifle our self esteem.

    NOW we can realize our full potential as actualizing human beings pursuing our dreams and interests - and NOT have to feel guilty about doing so. There's no one there to stomp us down - aside from our own impotence and lack of self esteem which we CAN rebuild after exiting the JW cult

  • Phaedra


    Vidqun, Thanks for that.

    Flipper, we learn how much alike we all are, don't we?

    Joker, I have always admired and been thankful to your family. Your wife was a great liberal JW role model. I hope you have found peace and happiness outside the org.

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