Twelve years ago, I submitted this comment to the JWD board, relating to the practice of disfellowshipping young people from the congregation:
"I am angry at the way Jehovah's Witnesses treat their most precious endowment; their young, developing, stumbling, exasperating, questioning, experimenting, growing offspring.
At the very most urgent time in their young lives; when they need the most reassurance, nurturing, patience, understanding and forgiveness, Witness parents, under the direction of their congregation elders and governing body, toss thousands of these young ones out into the cold, cruel world, allowing them to virtually self-destruct.
Many of these castaways are still in their teens.
There is NO excuse, Biblical, human, parental or otherwise to shut off all the guidance resources these young ones have ever known. The human wreckage of this disgusting practice is astronomical. The act of disfellowshipping teenagers and other young persons is probably the most unshepherdly and cowardly activity of the Watchtower. It is a heinous crime.
All these years later, I would like to touch on another common problem for JW men who want to preserve their status as "elders," while seemingly caring for the physical, financial, psychological and "spiritual" needs of their family.
! Timothy 3: 4,5 describes someone qualifying to be an elder as "a man presiding over his own household in a fine manner, having his children in subjection with all seriousness+ 5 (for if any man does not know how to preside over his own household, how will he care for the congregation of God?)"
What happens when a man serving as an elder finds that one or more of his teenage children are showing signs of rebellion, even facing judicial action? The offenses could range from an inappropriate hair style to "apostate" comments, "worldly" dating, fornication, drug use, etc.
I've known elders of means who could afford a separate apartment for the offending teen or young person. A medical doctor, who was also a JW elder, took this option, using his need to collect the rent and utilities as an opportunity to have "necessary association" with his disfellowshipped son.
A close relative, who happens to be the Chairman of the Body of Elders, COBE, is dealing with this situation right now. His eldest son, who was smart enough to never get baptized, just got out of prison and is living at his parent's home. They are desperately looking for options as the young man has several habits that could be problematic to a man attempting to "preside over his household in a fine manner."
Admittedly, this would be a trying situation, even without the need to protect the cherished privilege of eldership, but, with 1 Tim 3:4,5 hovering over like a black storm cloud, this father is desperate to find other accommodations for his inconvenient son.
Again, this religion, doesn't just make parenting difficult, it sometimes forces a JW parent to simply abdicate their role as parent.
