by Esmeralda001 32 Replies latest jw experiences

  • LongHairGal


    I'm sorry that it came to this. But, you were brave to stick it out in the face of a sick dynamic of bullies and older alpha females and the chumps who do their bidding. This is typical in the Witness religion!

    It must have hurt you though when you thought you had made a "friend" only to find this person was turned against you the next time you met...That's because one of the older dragons got hold of her and persuaded her to ignore you. The whole congregation was probably aware of it.

    This is because all these jealous controlling women in the religion want to bring you under their heel because - 1. you are attractive and young and a threat; 2. you are getting an education which will lead to you being gainfully employed and independent....This religion is SICK and they would never be happy unless a single woman is poor and ignorant and doing favors for all the users. When a woman defies their "trend" she is ostracized. I know.

    The double standard towards women in the religion is astounding.

    Don't expect ANY help from the elders. It would never occur to them to be concerned about a young single woman's welfare. They are first concerned about themselves, their families and a close third would be the older ladies/couples who invite them over frequently for dinners! They would never be on your side and you are out of luck!

    I am glad you decided to leave and I hope you REALLY mean it. If I were you, I would block their phone calls and texts, because they will try to get you roped in again. Don't let anybody corner you...and you don't owe anybody an explanation...Best of Luck to you.

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Full of admiration for you. Leaving the "Hotel California" isn't so easy for many of us.

    I truly wish you a life of peace and happiness!

  • Khaleesi

    Hi Esmeralda,

    I have been flowing your posts since the begining and your story is similar as to what I went thru in this organization, they are not about "love" they are about social circles and God forbid you are single, educated, funny, nice, smart, with good personality and above average looking. You are essentially a target from anyone. I was a target from a 'sister' in the congregation who is twice my age older, could be my mother, she was relentless, accused me of "elbowing" her during a meeting, it was ridiculous and disgusting. Did elders helped me NO, did they knew she was lying YES, did they tell me NO, did they do something about it NO!!! I believe it was because she is married to an MS, they have money and make big contributions to the KH with checks so the COBE knows how much money they are contributing.... the whole thing was disgusting, she followed me, tried to bullied me, tried to intimidate me, would spread rumors about me for over 5 years... because I would ignore her and walked pass her not acknowledging her or even look or make eye contact, practically i acted like she didn't exist and focus my energies on real good people in the congregation. She hated hated me for it so what did she do when nothing else worked?? She confronts me during a meeting very aggressively and ready to fight like a chola from the hood, very bully and a gang member, demanding me if I had a problem with her... since i told her i had no idea what she was talking about and told her I don't even know her or anything about her as a matter of fact I told her I don't know what she was talking about. I told the elders that same day what she had done, never heard anything back to what happended with that.... no help no nothing

    Move a year later, she accused me of hitting her during a meeting and waited 1 year to tell the elders!!!! I was like OMGGG she is crazy, she needs professional help, she is off her meds or something. I thought poor her she has security issues nothing to do with me, she could be my mother, since she is that old, and acting like a high school playground bully because other girls half her age are better looking than her.. but you know what? Thanks to that experience how the elders lack of handling this matter that has been happening for over 5 years which they were aware and didn't put it stop to it when they were supposed, it made it look like I was at fault for her to accuse me of this...... I realize no way they are being led my holy spirit and thanks to that it opened my eyes into learning TTATT and came accros this forum.

    Esmeralda, you don't need them, believe me, I am also like you, I am the only JW in my family, I got baptized when I was 18, I am in my 30s and still the only one, my parents and sisters are not JWs. All these years I regret the many times I separated myself from my non JW family and didn't enjoy celebrating with them many many things, my nephews, nieces graduations, baby showers, birthdays, etc.... . Think of it, based on WT teachings they will die at Armageddon because they are not JWs.... Use this opportunity to tell them that you determine this religion is not for you or not the true religion that Jesus christ established, he came to abolish the burden of religion, and appreciate it if you are left alone, tell your study conductor you appreciate your friendship with her and hope to continue that friendship and maybe go out for a cup of coffee or something once in a while. And if you don't hear from her again, then it's plain and simple they weren't your friends to begin with. "by their fruits you will know them". You are fortunate you didn't get baptized, enjoy your life and continue with your education, you will have a very successful life and find a partner who has the same goals as you.


  • zeb
  • zeb
    thus you have escaped the manipulations of the 'dragon-class'.. there is something about burning a bridge, it lights the way ahead.
  • Esmeralda001

    Thanks everyone for the support.


    yes i meant it! I've spent hours overanalyzing my situation only to find out that there is no way I can grow in this hostile environnement. Even if I get baptized, even if I become a pioneer. No matter what I do, these people will aleay find a flaws to point out. I'm leaving not because of my experience with the elderette. What pushed me towards the exit door is the other members lack of reaction. They turned a blind eye on that and expected me to do the same. I wonder How my study conductor feels about iT? Aren't God's people united by love? If the jws are God's only represents, why is there so much bullying at the KH? The hatred is real among the JW, believe me.


    Shunning people is the elderettes' favourite game. Marking people and avoiding them ois a funny game until you get a dose of your own medecine. Sadly these women won't completely understand the harmful effects of shunning until one of their own children get excommunicated.

  • Esmeralda001
    I am assuming that my shunning experience is nothing compared to what you guys have experienced when you got disfellowshipped. I have much respect for you. I'd never be able to go through the reinstatement process. Yuck.
  • brandnew
    Wowsers!!!!!! Um......yeah good for you........tell em to kiss your ass☺
  • airborne

    Toxic people are poison to the soul. Good for you for having the strength to recognize and take action.

    MANY people in the world are more friendly than Witnesses. It is a fake religion full of fake personalities.

    Please be good to yourself and thank you for sharing your experience.

  • millie210
    I am assuming that my shunning experience is nothing compared to what you guys have experienced when you got disfellowshipped. I have much respect for you. I'd never be able to go through the reinstatement process. Yuck.

    I think in some ways yours is worse! You didnt even do anything except get on someones bad side.
    It always hurts to be excluded from a group and it also hurts to be misunderstood. That said, you are better off out than in. So in a weirdly odd way the elderette has done you a service.
    If you dressed too nicely, had too much education or too good of a job, are physically attractive and/or young and single and you did not grovel? You were doomed!
    Any combination of the above would make you a threat.

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