Your story is interesting. It's great when you have a good therapist who can recognize that there's something else there that you need help with, and then recommend another practitioner. Trauma-informed therapy is something I've never received, but I've actually had training in trauma-informed teaching and it was really helpful. Trauma can permanently affect brain function. I hope it is helpful to you.
How amazing that it took until age 46 to get an autism diagnosis! People our age had to just suck it up. There was no ADHD diagnosis back then either, but it didn't mean that I didn't have it!
I have some autistic traits, though no diagnosis. Sometimes I'm oblivious in social situations. Here's a funny/embarrassing story.
I taught summer school for 4 weeks in a distant school. I preferred to stay late after school rather than take any work home because of the ADHD. After the long drive home I couldn't focus anymore.
So, the first day, the custodial staff came in after school and said hello and asked how I was doing, and I thought, "Wow! They are so nice!"
An hour later they came in to check on me again, remarking on my still being there, and I was super impressed. They were so friendly!
Another hour later, the principal comes in and tells me that they only have a day custodial staff and they leave when the kids leave, so when I stayed 2 hours late, they had to stay 2 hours late because they had the keys to lock up. (I was used to a 2nd shift who were there late at night.)
So, their friendly visits were a polite way of telling me to get the hell out of there because they had to stay and they weren't getting paid.
I felt so stupid! I apologized like crazy, and they were lovely.
But, yeah, sometimes I don't get hints socially and need things spelled out specifically!
My son also has some traits. He loves trains (so stereotypically autistic) and half of his train friends have Asperger's!