Only a few days ago I was entirely lost and without hope the rug was pulled out from under me

by elderess 92 Replies latest jw friends

  • disillusioned 2
    disillusioned 2

    Amazing story. So glad for you. I hope you have success with your children.

    I too was terrified of telling my husband. He was not an elder, not even a ms, in fact he misses a lot of meetings and very rarely goes on the ministry. He stopped going for years before he was brought back by a 'kind' elder a couple of years ago. While he was away he decided to go to university and he got a degree. Yet I cant make him see anything I say to him. The last time we argued, the last thing I said to him was 'Overlapping Generations'!!!!!!!!!! He stormed out of the room and we didn't speak for a week!

    We avoid the subject now, but he will leave magazines and books lying around and stick a memorial invitation in between the mail! Thankfully my children are all out, but it is so hard living with someone who does not believe the same as you.

    Sending love to anyone else in the same situation as I am. I know there are many.

  • Half banana
    Half banana
    Just a brilliant post Elderess. How about approaching your children in the same way as you spoke to your husband?
  • done4good
    done4good

    What a great story!

    d4g

  • Anders Andersen
    Anders Andersen

    @Elderess,

    I am so very happy for you and your husband (and a little bit jealous)!

    Welcome to the rest of your life!

    Make the best of it and have fun!

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    I love your straightforward and undramatic way of talking with your husband. Instead of having a lot of drama and subterfuge with the most important person in your life, you were able to be honest. It can't always go so well, but I think that it was a good way to do it. You obviously have a strong relationship that has built a real foundation over the years. I'm glad you are on the same page about all of this. I'm just sitting here grinning for you both!!!

    It's too bad your first election will be such a farce. Not one single front runner is anyone I would want to be president-even if I were an apolitical JW they'd all make me break out in hives. [SMH] At least you have birthdays and THANKSGIVING!!!!

  • MarkofCane
    MarkofCane

    Went on vacation just me and the wife. Snuck into the bathroom to check my emails and peek over here. Wow made my day. My vacation just got a kick start. You know the reason a lot of us come here is for this very reason, no other motive just to help and support those needing unconditional support. You are the lucky one. Figured it all out and as a couple are about to escape together, no better ending will you read on this site. Brovo. Freedom awaits you both I'm still sneaking around but your story gives me hope.

    Thanks
  • chicken little
    chicken little

    So happy for you, your experience is similar to ours. My husband was an elder, very popular speaker and former pioneer/need greater. We were looked up to in the congregation. I could not cope with the cognitive dissonance and depression being in the org caused. I was 46 when I finally took the bull by the horns and told my husband I just could not do it anymore. He asked for a week to make up his mind what he would do, I was very worried as I knew it would be the end of our marriage if he stayed in the Jw's. After a week he resigned as an elder, told them we would not be back and not to try and contact us or ask for any reason why. He walked out after shaking the elders hands and handing in his khall keys. Our marriage and relationship with our children has never been better.

    All the best to you, try to take it slow and avoid discussing with anyone your reasons. Just enjoy your freedom and go easy on your children, they will be bewildered and frightened by your decision at first.

    Much love Chicken little

  • SAHS
    SAHS

    You’re gradually getting the pieces to the puzzle. You will begin to see more and more how the Watchtower organization is based on a house of cards supported by nothing. (In a hurricane.) As you continue your research, you will never cease to be amazed at just how much the pieces of the Watchtower’s own little puzzle just simply do not fit together at all.

    A significant thing which really opened my eyes was a rather exhaustive yet concise compilation of the various changes and flip-flops of the Watchtower’s teachings called “Spiritual Food at the Proper Time,” which is at a Website hosted by Randall Watters at Free Minds, Inc. Here is the specific link to that multipart document: “http://www.freeminds.org/history/key.htm.” If that doesn’t wake someone up, then nothing will. It’s a very powerful exposé of the incongruous and, well, just plain ridiculous teachings of the Watchtower organization over time. Trust me, it’s very much well worth checking out. And that’s not even including all the new stuff since 2000, such as, supposedly, the very identity of the “faithful and discreet slave” itself! Please, please show that link to your husband. It’s definitely worth printing out, trust me.

    Take care, and all the best on your journey to spiritual freedom.

  • Phaedra
    Phaedra

    Welcome, eldress!

    Reading your story and learning how your husband responded to you as you lay side-by-side in your bed sharing the most vulnerable thing you can as a doubting JW nearly made me tear up... As a couple you both will leave together and not be torn apart and shredded emotionally over TTaTT like so many JW marriages have been.

    Congratulations on the beginning of the rest of your lives, together!
  • cha ching
    cha ching

    Thank you for posting & giving more people hope. I also was the wife of an elder, had two great kids that were "in", one was married. We were always researchers, ready to stand up for what was right....BUT, I was so afraid for my kids... I wanted to save them so bad.... That was my nightmare..... Fortunately, all three did awaken... One of my sister's too... I remember how scary of a time that was.

    The WT uses emotional blackmail, punishment, fear and all kinds of crap to keep people jailed in their mental priest that they like to call "mother". "She" is a cold hearted, child abusive woman.

    You will LOVE living without her, enjoy!!!!!

    Thanks for telling your story, it will give more people hope, it feels as if the dam is starting to bulge!!! Congratulations!

    Cha Ching

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