How I was raised as a JW versus how I have raised my children. . .

by drahcir yarrum 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • drahcir yarrum
    drahcir yarrum

    The topic of losing our history, because of being raised as JW's got me to thinking about how I've raised my own children. I have a son 17 years old, a son 15 years old and a daughter 13 years old. Needless to say they have only stepped into a Kingdom Hall once in their lives to attend my niece's wedding. I'll never forget my son's comment on the way from the hall to the reception (he was probably 8 years old at the time). . . "Who's this Jovagod person they kept talking about?"

    My kids have always been allowed and encouraged to participate in all of the in school and after school activities that they desire. I was rarely allowed to do so. My kids have been involved actively in athletics at all stages of their childhoods. My oldest son is going into his senior year of high school as the starting fullback on his football team and he's a good student. My parents didn't allow us to miss any meetings, thus we weren't allowed to play sports or go out with "worldly" friends. While I've never asked him, and wouldn't, I'd be surprised if my oldest son hasn't had some form of sexual activity with his girlfriend. My mothers greatest fear was that I would commit an act of fornication. My kids are all going to attend college, even if it breaks me financially. I was told that it was stupidity to want to attend college in 1968 with the end coming in 1975. I don't view my kids as necessarily any better than anyone else's kids. They do bonehead things just like everyone else. I haven't put any expectations on them to do any more than their best. When you get right down to it, I envy them. My younger son and daughter are also good kids because that's the way my wife and I have raised them. We don't worry that they are going to do anything to "shame" our family. We don't think like that. My mother and to some extent my father were constantly afraid that I was going to do something that would get them viewed as less than ideal JW parents.

    All in all, the difference between how I was raised and how my kids are being raised is like the difference between ABNORMAL and NORMAL.

  • tom64kat

    I envy your kids too! Being raised a JW my upbringing was the basically the same as yours. My son is 10 years old and I had been indoctrinating him until I stopped going a year and a half ago.

    My similar goal is to raise my son to be happy and to treat religion as personal thing, not group oriented. He never enjoyed going to meetings or service and seems to be adjusting quite well. I also intend to ensure he is college or trade school educated, whatever he prefers.

    It never ceases to amaze me how similar the experiences of former JW's are! All the things I thought and felt but could never say aloud, let alone discuss with anyone. I'm glad I found this wonderful place!

  • run dont walk
    run dont walk

    the reason I never had kids, because I didn't want to have to raise them the way I was raised !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    you did an awesome job, I envy you.

  • drahcir yarrum
    drahcir yarrum


    I've been reading comments here for a couple of years now and you will find this to be a valuable place for reconciling where you've come from with where you are now. Your son being 10 years old may never have any idea just how fortunate he is that you have escaped the WTBTS. I wish you much happiness in your future.

  • drahcir yarrum
  • unique1

    Sounds like you are doing a GREAT job. I hope when we have children, we will be able to do the same.

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