Trying to forget

by Anne 5 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Anne

    Ok, right or wrong, I’ve attempted to ignore all JW related “stuff” in my life. I fired my mom many years ago from babysitting for violating the no proselytizing to my kids rule. Shortened version of long story: I PAID her for childcare (fair, going rate), Super Witness! Brother visits (no kids, bitch JW wife- hates kids/ vs aunt who is biter she chose not to have kids because the end was sooo near). My not-so-bright parents decided to go Uber Witness & shun me for show & then Witness to my then school aged children. My tattle-tale children promptly told me how they didn’t like dear uncle & aunty, then how “weird” g-pa & g-ma were acting. After discussing with the g-ma & confirming attempted bible study with awful yellow Bible Story book of which nightmares come from, alternative childcare arrangements were made. “The golden child who went to bethel & is now married to a JW princess” went home. I then made a point of telling the grandparents I wanted them to have a relationship with their grandchildren. But... no proselytizing, because I know what I’m talking about when I say I don’t want that crap swimming around in their heads. I’ve never minced words.

    I should have known how THAT would end. My parents somehow turned that around to I wasn’t allowing them to see their grandchildren. Wow, just wow! In my head, I’ve always wondered if it had more to to with my taking away my mom’s cush grandchild babysitting gig.

    Fast forward a few years & their only other grandchild is living with us while going to college (niece/ my sister is DF since she was 16 for smoking of all dumb things to be DF for). My insane parents are full court press trying to get to know the niece (living in my house), while avoiding contact with my now teenage children. The niece is gay & she has grown up not liking how they treated her mom. My boys just think my parents are “crazy”. Yep. The de facto shunning is obnoxious, but is the best witness proofing.

    So that has been the status quo for a few years. I’m ok with that, emotional blackmail doesn’t work on those who refuse to go on guilt trips.

    So, why am I posting? Last week I ran into someone who remembered me from my wedding 20+ years ago at the KH hall. (Still married, I got lucky when he found me). I didn’t remember her, but she left the JW by choice too. Exchanged stories, she’s doing well.

    The problem is, now I’m thinking about people I used to know & wondering how they are. I don’t want to go down a rabbit hole. It’s taken me time get over being a JW & I don’t want to stir up that process again.

    Thank you to anyone who read the above rant- sometimes just getting it out is the best therapy!

  • Simon
    The problem is, now I’m thinking about people I used to know & wondering how they are. I don’t want to go down a rabbit hole. It’s taken me time get over being a JW & I don’t want to stir up that process again.

    The best analogy I can think of for how it sometimes feels is when you've watched a TV series for a long time and at some point you give up on it.

    Every now and again you feel a bit of nostalgia, remembering the "good times" and wondering what the characters are up to now and how all the story arcs worked out.

    But you don't want to risk wasting your time catching up. You know there are other more interesting things to do with your time.

    Maybe some of the people we used to know occasionally wonder about us and how our lives are going?

  • Biahi

    I’ve googled quite a few names from my old KH, found out some interesting things. Elders now retired to FL, an old friend too. Others married, out of state, one divorced twice. I haven’t tried to contact any of them, because I’m too busy working, and I don’t want anyone to think I’m crazy. Lol

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    I sometimes think back to various jobs ive had...and work they got on in life. But i never do anything about it.

    With the cult, most of those i knew all we had in common..the mutual interest..was the cult itself..not each other. The few friends i had back then turned their backs on me when i left..their choice, not mine.

  • mickbobcat

    To forget is IMO not the way to go. Remember, and tell anyone who wants to know the damage this cult does. I have stopped several people from getting hooked by this cult maybe more. I tell anyone who is interested that they are very dangerous.

  • Phizzy

    I think it is a good idea to get away as far as possible from all things JW, though I do come on here myself ( too much).

    With the good friends I had as a JW, and many were, real friends , doing lots of stuff for us , because of friendship, not just because we were JW's too, I now think of them as though they live in another Country, and I will probably never run in to them again, same with my JW family which now shuns me.

    So, in fact, I think of them rarely. My current friends, 99% never JW's plus a handful of XJW's, I treasure. One, never a JW, recently passed away, he was only 72, I sobbed and grieved far more over his passing than I did over close JW family members who died, he was like a Brother to me. I had more true love and friendship from him than from any JW.

    Even talking about things JW is a rarity in our House, but we have been out for years.

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