Lenny and the band
Now what? Though I said I couldn’t do it anymore it’s not like I had a plan for the rest of my life. I loved my wife, we had been together for almost thirty years. She was the first and only girl I had ever kissed. It was love at first sight for me. Of course, we had some problems. Leaving my wife was never an option. It wasn’t a perfect marriage but now it look like it would soon be over. Why? Because I didn’t want to be the same religion as her.
I would have stayed with her if she could have lived with someone who didn’t believe the same way as her. That didn’t appear to be an option. Even though there were plenty of women in the kingdom Hall who were married to non-believers. Two of her best friends were in that situation. That’s OK because their husbands never bought into the program. One of her girlfriend’s husband did buy into the program. He was raised as a Witness but left forty years ago. She stayed with him anyway.
Another one of my wife’s girlfriends got dis-fellowshipped because she was married to a space shot, who believed he was one of the anointed, one of the 144,000. This guy was three clams shy of a full clam bake. So, just like my dead father in law Robert Stillman, the only way out of his bad marriage was to commit adultery.
Of course she was dis-fellowshipped. While she was out and away from the organization for a number of years. During that time she married this really nice guy named Lenny. She now has a “worldly” husband. Eventually she gets reinstated. So of course everyone one in the Kingdom hall is trying to put the sale on Lenny to recruit him into the “Borg.” For twenty plus years they have been trying and for twenty plus years he has been resisting.
So for years Lenny has been invited to all the Witness parties and gatherings. He gets to hang around with all the witnesses, with no shunning of course. Why? Because he was smart enough never to get baptized.
At one time, my wife and Lenny and some other Witnesses even had their own band together, where they went out and played worldly music.
Lenny was super intelligent and even though he loves his wife, he really doesn’t want to be a Jehovah’s Witness, just like me.
I told my wife. “I wanted to be just like Lenny, please. You can still be a Jehovah’s Witness I don’t care. I just don’t want to be one.” She said. “That is not possible.”
A few days later one night, I had a dream. It the dream, I talked to god just like the governing body say they do. It help clear a lot of things up, because I was really confused at the time.
“So let me get this straight god. Lenny hasn’t done shit for your organization. I’ve spent fifty years and thousands of hours knocking on doors trying to sell this religion for you. I have spent tens of thousands of dollars on gasoline and thousands of dollars on books and magazines. I gave up a college education and choose to be uneducated just for you, because I know you like your people to be stupid. There were fifty years of no birthdays or holidays. I worked in your factory on mindless machines for pennies a day and spend six years in full time service.
“Yes, so what’s your question?” God asked.
“Because I have come to realize the same thing that Lenny already knows. This is the same thing billions of other people on this planet already know. So now you are telling me, I can never have any contact with all my wife, friends and family.”
“So, I get punished and Lenny gets rewarded?”
“Sorry, it’s a loophole. You know catch 22.”
“But I was only sixteen when I got baptized.”
“Sorry you should have known.”
“I should have known your religion is bat shit crazy?”
“I just want to be in the band with Lenny and the rest of the Witnesses!”
“Sorry, you’re screwed! Go away! Oh by the way if Lenny ever does join and then decides to leave too, he’ll be screwed also. But I don’t think Lenny will ever join, because he can spot bull shit a mile away!”
“Jehovah you’re really mean.”
“Yes I know. Why do you think I have such a hard time getting people to join my crazy religion?”
“Oh by the way, how do you really feel about pedophiles in your organization? Did you really tell your boys not to turn over the files with the names of them to the authorities?”
“What do you think?”