Going to meetings to "save face."

by Darkknight757 35 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Darkknight757

    Going to make this short and sweet but I need some advise again and I kinda need to vent a bit so sorry.😢

    So it has been weeks since the wife and I have been to meetings. It has been nothing short of wonderful!!! To feel the veil lift and to experience the lifting of fog has been liberating.

    So we go to the meeting yesterday because I needed to turn in my secret book and keys to hall. Sitting through it was tiresome and that annoying headache that I hadn't had in weeks quickly returned. Of course the brothers assure me that I can be reappointed as soon as I'm ready. (That ain't happening!!)

    After the meeting I tell the wife what a nightmare it is to be there and to lie to people in that I feel like I'm pretending to be someone I no longer am. Don't get me wrong, I love the people. I hate the pressure the Eltards put on the wife and I to "recover" and "get back in it". I actually had dreams last night about lying to the brothers in a judicial setting.😡 And because of that I seriously feel depressed as all hell today.

    Now she wants to go to the meetings again to "save face". I don't know what to do. I hate and I mean HATE going there. I feel as though by attending I am a sharer in the wrongs of the organization.


  • Crazyguy
    I too am thinking about going back. When your out they make it as though you don't matter and may need to go back and when ready start teaching my kids ttatt slowly. Every time I think about doing this I get a headache. I feel your pain but maybe that's what you have to do with your wife go back then study with her showing her all the problems and hypocrisy of it , all over time.
  • Darkknight757
    What's kinda sad about all of this is I have fully explained why this organization is messed up over a period of probably 6 months. She fully knows TTATT but she refuses to do her own research to get it herself. She doubts the organization as much as I do and she doesn't believe the bible to be inspired by God. It's all about the shunning. She doesn't want to lose contact with her fully in Mom and Dad. I get that.
  • nowwhat?
    I thought I was out too. But have to go to some meetings because of wife. We are in almost exact same circumstances except I'm not an elder
  • crazy_flickering_light

    I have to go to every meeting, so sorry for you. Maybe you can reduce it to sunday-meetings only and skip some of them? I feel it's easier to ignore the talk and the study then the midweekmeeting with the CLAM.

  • jookbeard
    my ex asked me for while if I could do the same, just go keep quite etc, never in a million years could I
  • Darkknight757
    So maybe a compromise is in order and maybe just do Sunday's here and there for a while then stopping all together. Going to the clam is a nightmare and far worse than the Sunday's.
  • TheLiberator

    Vanish without a trace. Do not talk to elders. It may seem difficult or mean, but just keep in mind that it is the organization you hate. Even if elders or "publishers" try to seek you out, just say "I love all the brothers and sisters but I don't care to discuss this. We would rather be left alone."

    It builds curiosity as to what is going on. They will probably figure it out, but who cares. They can't actually "convict" you of anything. I personally did this. It felt empowering. That feeling has never left me.

  • TheLiberator

    I need to add to my last post. I believe you need to make your own decision. You can't live your life because of your wifes parents. She needs to decide if parents or freedom is worth more. I chose freedom and i lost my mom. I wouldn't have it any other way. The sadness actually turns to anger and you begin to feel better.

    I believe over time that supporting the org will wear her out mentally and physically. She will have to make her own choice. And one other thing, I was close to my mom.

  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    You didnt need to go to a meeting to hand in keys and a book did you? There are always other ways.

    If living your life to save face is the aim then you will be forever on that treadmill and never pleasing yourself. Dont do it.

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