Kayleigh had run out of postage stamps and was waiting for new ones to arrive. It was slowing her assault on a local congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
She pointed to a stack of letters she’d already written to what she liked to call “the JWs.”
“These are ready to mail. I’ve got 16 letters written and 34 to go, but it’s only Tuesday. I’m way ahead.”
After she lost her waitressing job last year, Kayleigh contracted a nasty case of COVID. “I was bored, I couldn’t work, and my after-thingies kind of laid me out,” she said of the post-COVID vertigo and lung damage she’d been left with. “And then I got this JW letter in the mail and I knew my purpose in life.”
That purpose, she explained, was to do battle with people she thought were forcing their religion on her. Her former brother-in-law’s ex-wife used to be a Jehovah’s Witness, and back when they’d both been married to the Jones boys, she’d filled Kayleigh in on how things worked in that religion.
“They go door to door to preach, right?” she asked no one in particular. “But then the pandemic hit, and they couldn’t do that. So they started writing to people. I don’t mean like emails or texts. I mean, they wrote letters. To strangers. With a pen!” (Fact check: It's true.)