How My Husband Helped Me See TTATT
- I often think about going back so I can then help to wake up kids , at least teach them a better Christian way of life and how to treat others then as time goes on use the bible to show the problems with the borgs teachings. Maybe it will then help then see all the bullshit. Being out I'm marginalized and their taught I don't matter. If I had it over again I would have never left until I woke up the kids.
Welcome, corruptgirl! I'm so glad to hear this! I remember reading Sanchy's story a few months ago and I'm glad it had a happy ending--and so quickly! Your tips are very helpful. I've never been a JW, but I'm challenging a JW I know using only the Bible. I don't know always if it's having an effect but I can definitely tell that his attachment is mostly emotional.
If I recall correctly, Sanchy was being consider for an elder position. I hope you can move away from the WT smoothly and get on with your life raising your children outside the high-control environment.
- Welcome corruptgirl! So glad you have learned TTATT. My husband introduced me to his doubts and TTATT before I came to my own conclusion. Reading COC was an eye opener for him. I am grateful that he shared his doubts. I knew for years (maybe my whole life) that something just was not right. Now I know what that "something" was. It was TTATT!
Difficult isn't it, leaving that bubble. Life will get better and better though. Happy freedom. Remember sanchy's first Post well. Welcome to the forum.
Thank you for sharing an excellent strategy for helping Witnesses learn TTATT.
I especially liked:no.3. Even though we would definitely get into some arguments sometimes he never disrespected my beliefs." and the fact that he approached you humbly.
The clarity of your expression is out of the ordinary, to say the least. With a mind so adroit, I can see how relatively easy it was to work your way through this. The way the Watchtower writers string their beads of counterfeit logic, a rigid balance must be maintained at all times. Once you bring in rational and logical contexts or view the facade from a slightly different angle--the magic trick doesn't work any longer.
Just be aware, the same mind that got you into the religion is still there and it has been repeatedly conditioned with fear buttons to trigger a relapse instantly. Expect that in advance and you'll be okay.
Now you'll also discover that all those "Brother and Sisters" aren't even your friends. They have a Pavlovian trip switch implanted to cut you off and see you as immediate enemies very quickly.
This the most hurtful realization. You spent all that time building a foundation of social support only to see it vanish instantly as though it were a dream. And you know what? It IS a dream of wish fulfillment.
It took me over 20 years to root out all the false concepts, counterfeit definitions, superstitious precepts and such.
I'd recommend 3 books. These are the books that helped me recalibrate my head as a kind of tune-up.
1. 10 Philosophical Mistakes by Mortimer J. Adler
2. Who Wrote the Bible by Richard Friedman
3. Misquoting Jesus by Bart Ehrman
I wish you both all the best. Don't be surprised at how often you feel confused and depressed. The rug of absolute certainty has been pulled out from under you.
You had rock solid answers to all the important questions in the Universe which turned into mush. You'll get a craving for the certainty like crazy. It is worse than a tobacco or drug addiction!
Last, but not least, you'll discover a Jehovah-size hole in the center of your heart where your conscience and self-respect should have been.
Just think of how kids have stuffed animals or dolls that they give names to, talk to, play games with--and it is comforting and real to them. Well, it is not much different with Jehovah. You've been talking to yourself and calling it Jehovah!
But--it's too soon for you to even think about that.
Take care of your SELF in order to become whole again. Your individuality has been ripped away from you and your switch was tripped to OBEY mode. Now, where and how will you function unless you can make personal decisions for yourself without the alarm bell of implanted GUILT going off? In a cult, all roads lead back inside!
The Watchtower cult did this to you on purpose. Make no mistake.
It is cruel and inhuman. But, don't worry--it gets better once you develop confidence and perspective.
I'd suggest you stay away from RELIGION in any form for at least one year or else you might end up going from the frying pan into the oven:)
Remember--you are a God-aholic. Take one day at a time.
It seems that your husband (in #4) was using the Socratic method of teaching where the teacher uses questions to get the student to find out the answers by himself. Best way to do it.
Hope you can share more of your 'corruption' with us.
Loved your story and the way you presented it. Your husbands past post was a memorable one as well.
I instinctively followed the same course as he did when dealing with my Wife and she was able to see, in her own way and in her own time, what I had already come to know. Whenever I talk to JW's I take the approach that I want to understand what it is they believe (and I do, I'm still open to the possibility that they can teach me something). Rather than blindsiding them with scary outside information and scary new ideas, they come to their own conclusion after seeing the holes in their beliefs that become apparent when try to explain them to someone who has real life questions.
Thanks for sharing this with us and wanted to let you know that my brother and I are 16 mos apart and my wife and her Sister are 13 mos apart. In both cases things turned out well and both moms are sane and healthy
Great first post!
Welcome to the real world.Two words to live by as you work your way through faith issues.
If you fill your life with those things, you don't need to know it all. You don't need to become bitter or angry. You can just move forward in a loving manner.
Welcome , you made a lovely 1st post , and the best news is neither of you will be bringing your children up in a cult.