Back in 1974 my mom fell for the lies of the JWs, and became a member, dragging me along for the ride. I was only around four years old. That lie she fell for was that in the fall of 1975 she would be reunited with my older sister. My sister had died in May 1973, and she was only five years old. She had a cousin who used this lie to lure my mother into that cult. Before that my mother couldn't stand them, and always had a few colorful words to describe them.
So I spent the next years (from 1974 to my dissociation in 2001) they had plenty of time to do their worst. For a while I too fell for their lies as well, got baptized in 1987. So now I'm sitting here always in conflict on different things. Oh I'm never going back, that's a promise. But there are times it's like I'm fighting what was ingrained into my head all those years. Part of me wants to move on, and there are other parts of my head, it like no you can't do that, it's wrong. I would love to break free from the constant conflict, I just can't figure out how. It's been 15 years since I officially left them. Any suggestion on how to break free from these religious chains that just seem to keep attached.