It was a emotionally packed week-end. One never know's whats around the cornor? I am grateful to be in a place to not create crisises for myself. And being aware of my feelings.
Early in the week-end by the lake shore I saw a snake. To remind me that I am needing to shed old skin relating to relationships, jw stuff and my spirituality. And seeing deer to be gentle with myself throughout this process. The best birthday gift was a bald eagle sitting in a tree next to the cabin. And eagle is about seeing the overview of my relationships and life. There were many dragonflies flying around in the circle at the "Honoring the Earth Pow Wow" my needing some fresh air in regard to my relationships. Need to gain a new perspective or make a change.
I was able to enjoy my birthday even tho there was unhealthy group dynamics. Did not allow it to rain on my parade. My wishes were a nuturing week-end. For the most part was'nt met. I was able to receive gifts from those who were around me. Not allowing the negative energy take over my well being.
These women are my drumming group and we have been involved for 8 yrs.It's becoming more and more dysfunctional. Not meeting my needs. And I've bargin with myself for a while now. The writing is on the wall my needing to take care of myself to move on. And the pain is so great. I value my spiritualty. The wise voice within says my spiritualty will stay intact regardless of being connected to a group. And there were many gifts given over the years.
So the 59th birthday is packed this year. For me to honor change.
OldCrowWoman