Continuing a topic that is dear to my heart because of my experience as both a shunner and a shunnee ...
Some people seem to get very agitated when I talk about the responsibility people have to make the right choices and that despite all the wrongs within the WTS, people themselves have a role to play and some personal responsibility for the experience.
Notice I said "some" responsibility, not "complete" - this doesn't absolve the WTS for the things they do wrong in any way shape or form. So please don't get argumentative about possible meanings and absolutes - of course the WTS has a significant role to play but we need to decide what we're trying to achieve here and why the personal choice is so important.
I'm also not talking about actual crimes that the WTS should answer for. If they cover up child abuse for instance, they absolutely should be reported immediately. Of course there is a degree of personal choice involved here too - whatever the WTS tells people to do or not to do, it's up to individuals to decide to follow those rules or not. They can still do the right thing. Holding individuals accountable may bring about changes in behavior before the WTS decides to change their policies.
But for now, let's focus on the main thing we think is wrong with the WTS, with any high-control group, but that will not change in the forseeable future because it is probably impossible to legislate against, the thing that underpins all their other policies and abusive practices: shunning.
Of course shunning is wrong and cruel, but an organization can't really shun someone (other than deny them service) - only the people in it can. Each of those chooses to instigate, pass on and / or follow directives to shun someone else and so it goes on down the line all the way to the victim.
Given that there is unlikely to be any white knight coming to intervene in the form of legislation, what are the options? Will the WTS, of it's own volition, suddenly decide to stop shunning people because it's unloving and they suddenly want to do the right thing? Maybe that will happen one day if a reformist suddenly gains power but I doubt many of us really expect it.
They shun people for a reason and they need a reason to stop shunning them, they are unlikely to seek that reason out.
Why do they shun people? Clearly, for a high-control group like the WTS it's so that they can protect their membership. Not protect them from outside harm as they will claim as the reason for shunning, but really protect their own membership numbers from erosion. They need the numbers for growth and donations and shunning is a way for them to lock the doors.
What will make them change, and what I think is the only thing that will make them change, is if it becomes more harmful to them to continue to promote shunning as a means of control. If they start losing people because they teach that people who leave should be shunned and people make the choice to disregard that instruction then they lose.
The trouble is that many JWs don't think they have a choice in the matter. They are in a little box and they think all their options are constrained by the boundaries of that box. What happens if we tell them that shunning is 100% a WTS crime? Does it do them any good to be told that the shunning issue is completely the choice of the WTS to make? Isn't that promoting the same idea that the WTS tells them - that they really have no choice in the matter, they simply have to comply?
So what is so bad about telling people that no, they do actually have a choice and with that choice comes some personal responsibility. Will they do the right thing or not? Regardless of who instigated it, if they choose to shun someone it is them that is actually doing it. If someone shuns us, it is them making that choice. Why should they be absolved from all responsibility? Why would we ever agree with that idea?
Of course the choice isn't a completely free and easy one - it's encouraged because of pressure from others but that pressure is the same choice passed on to other people, that if you don't shun them, other people will shun you. Doing the right thing is rarely easy but throughout history people have stood up and done the right thing at far greater personal cost. It is not an impossible thing to suggest, to hope for and to expect - surely by loved ones?
I think that instead of constantly trying to sell the message that "the WTS is evil because it promotes shunning", it would be better to promote the idea that "some JWs are unloving and unchristian because they choose to follow the shunning of their loved ones". We should be reminding them that they do indeed have a choice to make, that shunning is not and never should be an inevitability and that they don't need the WTS to change first in order for them to make the right choices now.
Sure, it may be difficult - but it's definitely not impossible. The change in the WTS can and only will happen because of the choice of individuals forcing them to abandon it.
What is it that we want to achieve and so often campaign and lobby for? Isn't it for people to be able to make their own choices? To be able to leave the WTS if they want to? So why is the message we so often promote that they can't?