I thought I would lighten the mood around here. Just remember, I'm not laughing at them, I'm laughing with them.
Here's a brief description of some of the "regulars" I used to associate with when I was in the troof.
First we have Sister Can't-carry-a-tune-in-a-bucket: Everytime we sang, she outsang us all. (Off key doesn't mean
you're harmonizing lady! Besides, that's what karaoke bars are for.)
Then we have Sister All-I-do-is-study: This one has a basic diet of twinkies, fried chicken and Dr. Peppers. Never buys anything new and gives 1 hr. comments to even the simplest paragraphs. She suffers from major penis envy and given the chance she would be happy to conduct any meeting or judicial hearing.
Twenty minutes into the program arrives the Up-all-night Family: They are the only fun people in the Hall. They never miss a meeting, except when they are on another vacation,but are always running late because of the party they had the night before. (I miss them.)
Then we have Sister I'm-a-virgin,-I-swear: You always know when she's cold and you could swear she flirts with your Dad and your Grandpa!
Last but not least, Brother Rollin-in-dough: Never wears anything but designer suits. His wife has every hair in place and always dressed to kill. Their kids look miserable and if they were to actually smile, you wouldn't even recognize them.
My mom is sister can't carry a tune in a bucket! And she is so full of joy, she can't help but sing kinda loudly (or maybe it just seems that way)
I also hung out with Sister Jehovah better send me a husband - she introduces herself to all new male visitors, and somehow works their marital status into the first three seconds of the conversation. If he's married, she's outta there. If not, she offers everything except sex on the podium to hook him before any other sister.
Sister I'm too spiritual to dress fashionably - she wears clothes 3 sizes too big from 2 decades ago, and looks askance at anyone whose knees are showing. She wears flats, never heels, and gives lectures on how bad heels are for your back.
Sister I cn justify going to a night club as long as I don't miss meetings - she comes home in time to change and go out in service.
