Just programmable?

by be wise 4 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  be wise

  I just got another mental prodding. I overheard my mum and dad talking in the hall this morning (it’s their assembly weekend) and I couldn’t believe what I heard. They were talking rather intensly about how you would never get girls in the world like you do in the truth and started bleating on about how loose those ‘worldly people’ are. This just smacked me in the face and goes to show how little they have a grip on reality – shoving everyone who isn’t a JW into that disposable garbage bin.

  It got me thinking these people are clearly programmed to suit their mind-set or proposed purpose. Soldiers in the army are ‘programmed’ to a certain extent so they can stay focused and get a good job done - obviously not in the same way as JWs.

  I think it basically comes down to ‘viewpoint’. A lot of things in life can be justified as being acceptable, even if, morally they are not– if they are viewed from a certain mind-set. The hardest thing off all is having an open mind and keeping it. I’m making friends now out of the org with people who are open minded and non-judgemental (this is not a dig at the WTS btw), for me this is a much better way to live - with an open mind, not having all the answers and being ready to be changed by real experiences. I won’t choose to put my brain in a box but it does get kinda tiring. It reminds me of a Radiohead lyric.

  ‘…any fool can easy dig a hole, I only wish I could fall in’

  be wise.
• 

  avengers

  for me this is a much better way to live - with an open mind, not having all the answers and being ready to be changed by real experiences

  Right on dude.....Right on.

  By George I think he's got it.

  .
• 

  talesin

  sounds like you have a grounded attitude about this stuff. 25 years later, my parents are still telling me that they have a 'nice brother' picked out for me if i am willing to 'come back'. and of course he will never treat me badly (even though he will have COMPLETE authority over me).

  they are brainwashed and the chances are they will NEVER (a word i don't often use) change.

  when they start shaking their heads over how 'worldly' people are so corrupt, i remind them in specifics about the 'brothers & sisters' who are still in 'the LIE' in spite of their shady business practices, abusive marriages, cheating, drinking, smoking, etc., etc. it's easy for me to do this since i don't have to live at home. but it shuts off that line of reasoning pretty quickly when i say "well, what about so-and-so? he's been messing around on his wife for 30 years, and they just never went after him?" proof that hooking up with a jw is not gonna ensure marital happiness for me or anyone else.

  i lived with my parents for abt 6 mos when i was ill 10 years ago. although i enjoyed spending time with them for the first time since i was 16 (boy, have they ever mellowed!), the pressure to 'come back' was unbelievable, in both subtle and direct ways. it must be incredibly difficult for you to be living at home (are you? - your message seemed to indicate that). i wud say, just don't take any negative stuff to heart -- they really don't get it. they think believe they are trying to save your life.

  for me, FREEDOM has been the reason i have never looked back. intangible as it may seem at those times when you are biting your tongue, it's still there.

  you hold your freedom inside you, in your mind and your heart -- no one can take it from you!

  and btw, i have found that once i got 'an open mind', it was really easy to keep it! i focus on hangin out with other open-minded people. good for you, bw! live long and prosper
• 

  be wise

  Avengers, o nly took me 24 years

  Talesin, thanks for your kind words. I do still live at home (moving out in a few months though). My mum and dad have mellowed a lot with me though. I think they do this because if the JW crap comes up I reason with too much logic for them so they feel REALLY uncomfortable if it ever comes up (my mum feels under ‘tremendous pressure’ and ‘very tired’ when we just discuss it – her words not mine) because they can’t answer my questions or tell me what I’m saying is wrong so it’s just left now. They’ll never change but that’s up to them.

  i have found that once i got 'an open mind', it was really easy to keep it! i focus on hangin out with other open-minded people.

  Thanks again!
• 

  talesin

  you're welcome, bw. it took me years to realize that my parents were misguided. it took me a few more years to get them to realize that i was NEVER coming back. but they are still trying at times. go figure.

  if your parents still love you, that is what i consider a bonus. i just take them for who they are, love the parts i love. if i need support i go elsewhere.

  just glad i could support you a bit. things will be better when you move out. when you are really lonely, just get all the support you can. it gets better, it really does!!!

  hugs,