I've grown a lot closer to my wife in the past year, in retrospect I think we both imagined the future would have been a lot worse after I announced my departure but pleasantly its worked out just the opposite. But while its good to have a strong relationship with one's spouse sometimes you still need a friend to hang out with every so often.
It's comforting to see that not all marriages implode as a result of one person seeing past the WT fairytale.
I've found that it's quite hard to break free from that "isolationist" baggage that comes with being a JW. I don't remember having any friends that I could confide in while I was inside the ORG also though, being that I learned early on that you're bound to be "ratted out" if you said anything negative about the Org or felt you had to confess anything. A lonely existance indeed.
It's a slow process, breaking down that wall of unconsciously keeping people at arms distance. I was never the outgoing "clubbing" type so I had to look for those friendships at work and in the various hobbies I've taken up since my exit. It took me quite awhile, but I've managed to call at least one person I work with "friend" in that we talk to each other about almost anything...including religion. He's married with a family, shares some of the same interests I have in computers and cars, and feels the same contempt for organized religion, especially the WTS, as I do.
I'm starting to realize that outside of a brief conversation here and there its really hard for me to trust anyone enough to move beyond casual aquaintance.
I've found that this is often the case with people who were born into the religion without benefit of the practice of the skills necessary to socialize beyond the predescribed limits placed upon them by the WTS. My wife, even though she attends a sporadic meeting here and there yet never goes out in service, inactive as she is sits squarely in this category. She can barely function outside of her direct family and WT functions without eventually falling into the self-righteous WTS vs the World, we right- everyone else wrong JW judgementalism. After years of training, it's a hard habit to break.
You're only a year out. It's gonna take a lot longer than that and much practice before you're comfortably able to approach people with sheilds down. It's gonna take practice and a constant pushing away of the unconscious thought that somehow, everyone you approach is unworthy a strong friendship unless they're in the org. It's a gradual process whose battle won't be won overnight.
Good luck
BTW...it's great to hear from you again.
