Treatment of families

by ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara 7 Replies latest jw experiences

  • ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara

    Has anyone experienced that family members of the general flock and those of the elders were treated differently, unfairly, or just put on a pedestal just coz they were elders kids? Where i grew up ,elders kids used to steal from their dads wallet right in fron t of us , and say to us that " if you say anything no one will believe you, I am the elders son".This went on from bad to worse , he grew up a constant liar, wore earrings to college and questionable association and clothes, involved in all things worldly. .I know this coz he had a worldy friend who lived next door to me.This neighbors house was his go to for a double standard life style. From changing into worldly clothes to cooling down from his hangovers and hiding all things wrong, was done right next door to us. We tried to warn a couple of times to the elder and his wife, we got seriously into trouble for that.Since then we left that alone.Yet the son moved up the ladders from a publisher to a ministerial servant without any trouble.On the other hand here was me and a couple more brothers who had to struggle to bequaified as publishers , then became regular pioneers , yet never recommended to be misiterial servants or anything for that matter.(i never wanted to be a ministerial servant under those BOE anyway). A few could see the partiality and unfairness of it all.

    Anyone else have anything to share like this.Believe me this is just a tip of the iceberg. I have lots to share yet.

  • User99

    If you want to be bold about it and call him out on it, you can take advantage of the next time that you’re assigned a talk. You can play the marking game, just like the elders do. Call out the type of action in your talk. Make it specific enough so that people get the point. But don’t mention any names. If I were still in, that’s what I would have done.

  • ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara

    Hi User99, I did do that a couple of times and immediately after the meeting I was taken aside and given counsel, lik i was doing something wrong. Then for 6months i was not given any part whatsoever to do.It felt like I was being punished in some way. this has happened not just to me ,to a few others too. Once you try to speak your mind as per the bble, you are let out in the cold.

    In all this I was doing very well spiritually. Brothers and sisters , COS,DOS and Bethel representatives knew me perosnally and were of a high opinion of me. They always remarked on how well i was doing n encouraged me to move further up ie bethel service, translation department, special pioneering.

    Ultimately I was invited to be special pioneer which I happily accepted.

    A lifetime to talk about yet I am not old.

    Thank you for responding.

  • DesirousOfChange

    Yes, there are and always bill be "the privileged few" in any group. It's the same with the JDubs. Some elders are more "prominent" than others, and yes, elders' kids are "put on a pedestal" -- or as I would prefer to say it -- more in the spotlight, and that's not always a good thing. (Take it from this son of a very prominent Elder.)

  • stillin

    Sometimes it's not a bad apple that spoils the barrel. Sometimes it's the barrel that is causing the problem.

  • Tameria2001

    Growing as a JW I pretty much kept to myself, and the one friend I had as a kid was not a JW. I only had one friend my whole childhood, once I became a teen, but it was not until my senior year in high school did I make a few JW friends. The one friend I did have, we attended the same school for 2 years, after that we kept in contact through letters until we eventually lost contact with each other. As far as at the kingdom hall I did see first hand how kids who were the children of elders, and ministerial servants had their own clique. If your dad wasn't one or the other, well tough stuff you weren't included in anything. Not all congregations I attended were this extreme, but there were some.

    My husband was the son of a Ministerial Servant growing up, and he told me about the way he was growing up, and well let's just say he did not act like the A typical JW. He dated girls who were not JWs, he was on the wrestling team and did other things that you see any normal non-JW teen boys doing. He said there were many times they would try to get onto him about it, but he would always shut them down by telling them that he was not baptized. He did what was expected of him at the kingdom hall (field service, meetings, talks). He often would say that he had two sides growing up.

  • amiable atheist
    amiable atheist

    Growing up as a JW and the son of an elder I often felt like living in a bubble in a bubble. As a JW kid there weren't a lot of other kids in my age group anyway, but if I wanted to hang out with someone not being from the "higher ranks" as it were, that was frowned upon, especially by my mother. I remember her saying, "they are just ordinary brothers", and I should make friends with other elder kids. I felt ashamed of her.

  • Tiana

    Sorry to read about this experience. Yes I have read that privileges shielded people , the higher ups and thier families have nothing much to worry about.

    Glad you are out if you are.

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