How to make a covenant with God.

by thinker 1 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • thinker
    thinker

    For those who want to see it from the bible, here is how to make a covenant with God; followed by the 'plain English' translation..

    Ge15:9 And he said unto him, Take me an heifer of three years old, and a she goat of three years old, and a ram of three years old, and a turtledove, and a young pigeon. Ge15:10 And he took unto him all these, and divided them in the midst, and laid each piece one against another: but the birds divided he not. Ge15:11 And when the fowls came down upon the carcases, Abram drove them away. Ge15:12 And when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and, lo, an horror of great darkness fell upon him. Ge15:13 And he said unto Abram, Know of a surety that thy seed shall be a stranger in a land that is not theirs, and shall serve them; and they shall afflict them four hundred years; Ge15:14 And also that nation, whom they shall serve, will I judge: and afterward shall they come out with great substance. Ge15:15 And thou shalt go to thy fathers in peace; thou shalt be buried in a good old age. Ge15:16 But in the fourth generation they shall come hither again: for the iniquity of the Amorites is not yet full. Ge15:17 And it came to pass, that, when the sun went down, and it was dark, behold a smoking furnace, and a burning lamp that passed between those pieces. Ge15:18 In the same day the LORD made a covenant with Abram,...

    Gen 15:9,10 God tells Abram how to make a blood oath ritual. Cut the critters in half and lay them close to each other.

    Gen 15:11 Abram screws up by starting his blood ritual in the morning. By mid-day the buzzards are coming around the smelly, dead bodies; while Abram waits for God to show up.

    Gen 15:12 Abram goes to sleep (or passes out from the smell).

    Gen 15:13-16 God makes His oath in a vision or dream.

    Gen 15:17 God seals this oath by walking between the carcass's in the form of 'a smoking furnace, and a burning lamp that passed between those pieces'. God DOES NOT like to get His feet dirty.

    Gen 15:18 This is how you make a covenent.

    WARNING: Despite these clear instructions on covenant-making, the Author, that is, God; will not come to your rescue if you should start chain-sawing livestock!!! You will rot in jail after having your head examined. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

  • asleif_dufansdottir
    asleif_dufansdottir

    Every time I take of the "rose colored glasses" and look at how most Old Testament prophets and 'men of God' acted...I'm struck by how they could easily be the psychotic guest star on "CSI" or "Law & Order"...

    You have people cutting livestock into large pieces, killing other humans, running around prophesying naked (how did he get off as a "prophet"...how come this particular lunatic didn't end up stoned for heresy??), laying immobile for days or weeks or months or whatever it was (wasn't this the naked guy?). Not to mention the simple fact that God talks to them and tells them to do this psychotic sh*t.

    Someone wanna tell me exactly how is it that so much of the modern world looks at this bunch of nutballs as God's ancient representatives?? No wonder the JWs think the GB is somebody they should listen to.

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