Fading: The One Year Mark

by Hadriel 8 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Hadriel

    After fading for roughly a year now there's some good and some bad.

    The Bad

    It is becoming increasingly difficult to go to meetings. Very difficult to control eye rolls, shoulder shrugs and shaking your head in disbelief of the things you're hearing. Children find it difficult to branch out to others. Very hard for them. Can't lie it is a long arduous process. Increasingly have the feeling it might be better to just cut bait but the unfortunate reality of having really your family ripped from you keeps you from pulling the trigger.

    The Good

    Initially your mind tells you it's all nonsense but there's still the temptation what if there's some shred of truth to it. However that as of months ago has been very fleeting. You become so certain that the entire ideology is false that you give it less and less thought. At this point it is comical. I will say this as the view gets further in the distance you see more and more from your new perspective that you realize how well this organization is really run. They are masterful at controlling information and well minds.

    In the end I feel pretty stupid at times that I was ever swept up in the whole thing. Sure I was born in but I had plenty of opportunities to fact check but like most I didn't for fear of reprisal upon asking questions. Although I will probably always have some measure of activism the likelihood of continuing at a regular pace seems like only giving more time to this dangerous religion.

    I'm still the same person. Not much has changed if at all.

    Given all that we have it's time to simply be a good human being and live life.


  • Hadriel

    Forgot to add in the process I got one of my relatives out!!!

    Probably one of the best things of the process. It has helped tremendously. I'm a fairly tough bird as they say but this whole deal can make you needy right quick. Having one of your own that you can share things with now has been quite refreshing.

  • smiddy

    Good for you Hadriel , getting one of your family members out is a plus , after only one year.

    Many JW`s spend a lifetime witnessing and never make one convert

    You did well

    I hope all continues to go well with your fade , it must be hard , take care


  • redpilltwice

    I like this topic Hadriel. Congratulations so far and yes, I also feel stupid at times . Not born-in, but nevertheless 20 years of indoctrination. My 1st year anniversary of fading will be next month and I'm always interesting in how fellow-faders are doing. We have no family in the borg, but I hope I hope to get one out as well. Would be great!

  • Anders Andersen
    Anders Andersen

    My anniversary is also next month :-D

  • Hadriel

    You know Anders I was thinking that was the case!

  • EyesOpenHeartBroken

    Wow! Sounds like you have had a very successful fade. If I remember right, your wife is also awake. Are your kids awake?

    I am happy for you, but oh so jealous. I am coming up on a year of fading, but in the last 5 months pretty much every thing has gone wrong. I don't know what's gonna happen. I suck at this and the mental strain is taking its toll.

    If you can give more details in your strategies, I would be grateful. Or PM me.

  • Hadriel

    Yes the immediate fam is out. Yes there has been positive things but lots of headache too. You're not alone is the point.

    My biggest suggestion would be to get involved with things in your community. Take a vacation stay busy and the guilt and shame we feel from this terrible indoctrination slowly recedes and you begin to find happiness.

    There really hasn't been a magic formula other than that.

    For those in your family that are in, what I did is said well here are 5 things I found to be absolutely factual, you are welcome to prove them false, but if true you can understand why I feel the way I do.

    That seemed to be very powerful.

  • MarkofCane
    "What I did is said well here are 5 things I found to be absolutely factual"...Hadriel

    Ok i'll bite what are your fav five?

    My Fade has bees successful as well, wife is fully awake and agrees that this is just another religion, not Gods org. She still won't research apostate sites, so I have to cut and paste what I know she will appreciate and send to her, otherwise she is out mentally.

    The kids; So I told the kids I had to talk to them as to why dad does not go to the meeting anymore and has had a change of heart about the Truth. I told them that I would explain everything to them on the way to the convention. Had them in the car for 3 yrs, explained as much as I could with out over whelming them. I asked them if they had any questions and they unloaded on me so many question and there own doubts. We had the best family conversation and really bonded like never before. I emphasized the mind control and fear tactics that the will see (videos) and hear at the convention, afterwards they agreed.

    So our fade has been successful for the most part but stressful because of family still in, we are at the save them stage from their apostate father, they don't know they just suspect is my guess. I woke up on 2/23/2013 the word is out "a run away slave"

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