Thank you all so much for your help! I am very inexperienced with message boards, so had to start a new branch of conversation, not knowing how to reply within the same one ... if that makes any sense. I thank everyone for their offers of private discussions, and I would certainly be grateful to have people to talk to ... the thing is, I haven't yet worked out how to do this!
Your advice was really invaluable. I live in Scotland, which has a population of 5 million, and therefore only a very small JW population, so it has been difficult for I have made the decision not to marry my fiancé. I don't feel I have rushed this, as your messages confirmed fears I had already ... I was shocked by the idea of being an obedient wife. I was raised by a very strong and independent mother, who was on completely equal footing with my father. They shared everything equally, made decisions between them, and my father would never have dreamed of telling my mother what to do or oppressed her at all. I made myself a promise a long time ago (long before I met this man) that I would only let myself marry a man with full respect for me, and that I would always be free and my own woman.
Thank you all so much again for advising me, and I would love to chat more, it is wonderful knowing that we are not alone. As for my fiancé's reaction ... well it merely confirmed the fact that he has never respected me to the full. He charmed me and tried to use this sugar-coated blackmail to convert me ... I now realise that any man who cannot accept my beliefs is not good enough. I will no doubt look back with huge relief, as I see this as a learning curve but, above that, a lucky escape.