Gotta love the ministry. LOL.
You know how you go to the mid-week meeting & it is all about field service, how you can improve, do more etc. Do you remember how they would say things like....
"You get up brothers & you really don't feel like going out today, you look out of the window & the weathers just not good, then you look in the mirror & you say to yourself, I don't feel so good today. You know your looking for an excuse not to go cause it's tough to get motivated on your 1 day off. But you do it , you push yourself, you force yourself to get dressed, pick up your bag & put on a brave face. You get to the group still not really wanting to be there & you put your kingdom smile on anyway. Your paired up with some-one who don't really know that well but as you go around talking you realize that this person your brother or sister who you never really bothered with before is really nice & you have lot's more in common then you knew. Then some-one is home & you have a really good talk, you place some mag's & now you got a return visit. WOW it was so good that you will probably get asked to do a demonstration on the stage. Before you know it 2 hours are up & you go home. When you get home you say to yourself WOW I'm so glad that I pushed myself to do that cause I feel great".
The thing is I always did feel great after I did the ministry & I always thought it was because I pushed myself to do it. Today I discovered something about myself, what I was happy about was that it was over. I was over the moon, because now I could go home get out of that stupid skirt, put the kettle on & do exactly what I want. I've only just realized this, am I thick? Of course when there's something you truly enjoy you don't have to push yourself to do it. When my husband says I'm going to the shop to get some chocolate, I don't look for excuses not to eat it, I cant wait for him to get back, I love chocolate. So my conclusion is nobody likes the ministry, they think they like it cause they are told they do. Your thoughts.
Yes, I absolutely agree with you there! I have NEVER liked going out in field service and I was always very happy when it was OVER! What I hated even more was telephone witnessing. Talk about sweating blood and water... I just never understood those that want to become a pioneer or do more. Going out there and talking to strangers was always a struggle for me and I could never understand those who actually enjoy doing it. I bet there are some who REALLY like going maybe because it makes them feel better or because they´re just so used to going out. They think they are brave or something. My sister always reproaches that I don´t have the "truth" in my heart and therefor feel the way I do. She is right, unfortunately I have never had a "close relationship with God". I do believe in God and I really do hope that he has a plan for us humans and can end this suffering that both humans and animals have to endure in this world. MOST people on this earth are dirt poor and have real problems and it would be nice if this world and life is NOT all there is to life. But like I said, I really always HATED field service.
I think the reason you felt good after going on the ministry was due to not having the guilt you would have had if you didn't go. They are masters of using guilt to manipulate you.
I agree with Landy. Also, you feel good about doing something that you didn't want to do. It's a sign of character.
It seems like anybody who says that they love the door to door work is a liar.
All it ever did for me was give me diarrhea.
Landy hit the nail on the head. If you don't go out you get that dirty look from the other Elders like your diseased or something.
This past weeks watchtower was real funny.
That caption of the boy happily walking down the street with his dad.
Dad probably just told him we are going on break. That's the only reason that kid could possibly be so happy. No kid I ever saw was that happy out in service.
All it ever did for me was give me diarrhea.
There is a mneumonic for spelling that particular word the UK way:
"Diarrhoea is a really runny heap of everything awful."
I reckon you're right - it was simply the good feeling to know that you'd clocked up more hours for your monthly time sheet. I only knew one person in my previous congregation who openly declared that they loved the ministry - and he wasn't a pioneer.
What's the #1 question which J.W.'s ask an Auxiliary Pioneer? "Have you started any Bible Studies?" "Have you had any nice witnessing experiences?," or even, "Are you enjoying it?"
Nope - it's "How are your hours doing?"
Witnessing is all about the hours for their monthly report to the vast majority of J.W.'s - preaching is secondary!
I loved what you wrote as it was totally how I felt. My husband was an elder and always felt we had to set the example which meant we could NEVER MISS SERVICE NO MATTER WHAT!
There were no Saturday mornings of just being together as a couple, going for coffee or a breakfast out or just having a marriage, it was always met for service and than Jehovah will bless us with time together afterwords. Even when we went on vacation we had to met with the group before we headed out as no other elder would even conduct my husband's group.
My husband also felt sorry for all the mentally ill ones in the hall so the other elders in what ever hall we were in soon learned that and then they would put all the crazies in our group. I remember one time the CoBE hated this one extremely mentally ill brother and this guy was bent and determined to talk to the CoBE so the CoBE actually started to run in the hall from this guy. Now the CoBE was a fairly heavy guy and it was so stupid looking and yep we got that mentally ill person in our group also, Oh the joy.
I would come home from service so wiped out, sometime I would just sit in a chair and stare at the wall for hours trying to decompress. I always felt so crazy after spending the morning with the mentally ill. I knew that I was not trained to help them but I was forced to be with them and I felt bad not wanting to but they were so demanding and rude even at the doors and of course they had to take all the doors as they were so much better at talking to people then I was, or else I would get a car group that wanted me to do everything and they just wanted to ride around but mostly they were very demanding rude people who were all on government aid and felt the world owed them even more. They would hit me up for money, etc. The householders would look at us like we were all just a stupid crazy religion which I felt like we were.
I used to ask my husband why we sent out so many extremely mentally ill especially ones who refused to bath and smelled and I mean reeked. My husband response was always that Jehovah was using everyone because he could make the rocks cry out if He wanted and so Jehovah was using the mentally ill to weed out those who truly wanted the "truth" as it would take humbleness for people to accept the truth from people like them. It would take the three H's honest, hungry for the truth and humbleness and that was why the mentally ill went out.
I always felt bad and horrible after a day in service and if I was not with the mentally ill I was in a car group of self rightness JW's, I could not win.