... when you couldn't get your family out of your mind? When you kept thinking about how horrible they all are because they loved some pipe dream God more than their real flesh and blood? When you wonder if you will ever see them again before they die? When you wonder if they talked to other DF relatives, but they shun you because they never really loved you? When you wonder why they break other WT rules and yet on the shunning thing they remain steadfast?
When no matter how badly they've treated you and you've treated them, you still want to talk to them and tell them you love them? When you wonder if when you wrote to them in past and told them so, did they even care? When the one time in a decade that you got to talk to some of them and they said they love you, if they really meant it?
When you wondered how your life ended up so topsy-turvy; you, who were one of the people privileged to be born into the one true religion, and later coming to find out your family is in one of the worst cults in human history? When you envy so-called "worldly people" all around you for their relatively conflict free lives? When you don't understand how life got so complicated? When you wish it could be so much simpler? When you know some people are in worse shape, but it doesn't make your pain any less bearable?
When you wonder whether or not to quit even trying to reach your family, to put the past behind you, and never think about them again? When you wonder how others do it? When you wonder if for you it is even possible?
Have you ever had one of those days?
Tammy