Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00
apiece on those little bottles of Evian water?
Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant
like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
OK... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as
the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known
as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee
Titans?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does
that mean that one enjoys it?
There are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the
leader of the Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the
liquor store or at Hooters
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around
several times, does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't
people from Holland called Holes?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a
whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts"
and you put your two cents in . . . what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a
broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't
they just stale bread to begin with?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it
say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a
pianist but a person who drives a race car
is not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the
English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,
musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed,
tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call
it Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's
licenses of bald men?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the
Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it
dawned on me ...they're cramming for their final
exam.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with
tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do
Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post
Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage
stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they
deliver the mail?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then
what exactly are the others here for?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to
drive.
No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their
team is winning.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be
if it didn't zigzag?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts.
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
George Carlin Strikes Again
by WildHorses 7 Replies latest jw friends
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WildHorses
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heathen
say did you get that off of laugh.com? There are some funny comedians on that site . I like the one about baptists not recognizing each other in a liquor store .lol
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WildHorses
Hi heathen,
No, I got it in an e-mail from a friend of mine. I liked it, so I thought I would share it with you all.
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J.P
Thank you i needed a good laugh
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Guest 77
Wildhorses, I saw Carlin live back in December in Montreal. By the way, your not fluff. Paul said at 1 Cor.13:2 said, "...if I have all the knowledge...but do not have love, I am NOTHING. And if I give all my belongings (free time) to feed (help) others, and if I hand my body, that I may BOAST, but do not have love, I am not profited at all".
Guest 77
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Maverick
Thanks Wildhorses, they're two things I love to do to start off my day and having a good laugh is one of them...we won't talk about the other. Maverick
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plmkrzy
Thanks shari! LOL!:D
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starScream
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant
like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?The lack of a peeing section is why I don't go in anymore.
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the
English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?Took me a few seconds but that is good.
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts.I thought I wasn't going to get that one.