Alone and OK

by stephenw20 3 Replies latest social entertainment

• 

  stephenw20

  I have heard. so many people talk about being alone ...being freightened about it....that it is an evidence you dont like yourself.....or the company you are presented with.......

  any one have thoughts......

  I will put a few lyrical ones down........

  Lonely Stranger
  by Eric Clapton

  I must be invisible;
  No one knows me.
  I have crawled down dead-end streets
  On my hands and knees.

  I was born with a ragin' thirst,
  A hunger to be free,
  But I've learned through the years.
  Don't encourage me.

  'Cause I'm a lonely stranger here,
  Well beyond my day.
  And I don't know what's goin' on,
  So I'll be on my way.

  When I walk, stay behind;
  Don't get close to me,
  'Cause it's sure to end in tears,
  So just let me be.

  Some will say that I'm no good;
  Maybe I agree.
  Take a look then walk away.
  That's all right with me.

  Chorus

  ----------------------

  - When You're Alone -

  Times were tough, love was not enough
  So you said "Sorry Johnny I'm gone gone gone"
  You said my act was funny
  But we both knew what was missing, honey
  So you lit out on your own
  Now that pretty form that you've got, baby
  Will make sure you get along
  But you're gonna find out someday, honey
  
  When you're alone you're alone
  When you're alone you're alone
  When you're alone you're alone
  When you're alone you ain't nothing but alone
  
  Now I was young and pretty on the mean streets of the city
  And I fought to make 'em my home
  With just the shirt on my back I left and swore I'd never look back
  And man I was gone gone gone
  But there's things that'll knock you down you don't even see coming
  And send you crawling like a baby back home
  You're gonna find out that day sugar
  
  When you're alone you're alone
  When you're alone you're alone
  When you're alone you're alone
  When you're alone you ain't nothing but alone
  
  I knew some day your runnin' would be through
  And you'd think back on me and you
  And your love would be strong
  You'd forget all about the bad and think only of all the laughs that we had
  And you'd wanna come home
  Now it ain't hard feelings or nothin', sugar
  That ain't what's got me singing this song
  It's just nobody knows, honey, where love goes
  But when it goes it's gone gone
  
  When you're alone you're alone
  When you're alone you're alone
  When you're alone you're alone
  When you're alone you ain't nothing but alone

  ___________
• 

  Uni girl

  when you go from having company to having none its a big jump and it is very lonely and bad for self-esteem. I don't think you are being fair to those who have posted of their loneliness. It takes time to adjust and if you say to people that they are lonely cos they don't like themselves then you are in effect saying your misery is your fault and its not. It makes people feel even less empowered.
• 

  crossroads

  Uni-girl-The supreme object in life is to LOVE and be
  LOVED. I'd trade many many years of life for love anytime.

  As for being alone I truely love that simple Springsteen
  song it's perfect. I personally have felt most alone at a party
  with a room full of friends.Really put me "up on the roof "
  "where's there is room enough for two" anytime.

  Last thought if you are not being tortured or raped
  misery is YOUR fault. To quote Lincoln" a man is as
  happy as he wants to be "

  I've been through hell and at the moment I stopped
  blamming her for all the misery (she broke the vows
  not I) I began to live and love again and it was always
  in my control. I could have clicked my heels three times
  anytime I wanted, it was with in my power to do so.
  Peace and Love
  Mark
• 

  Introspection

  Uni, I can understand your concern on a practical level, it is common to feel the way you do. I think there's some truth to this idea that you don't like yourself, but I think maybe it's more common than we think, but we don't notice it normally. It doesn't matter if you like yourself or not if you never pay attention to yourself, if you have other people around you might be caught up in socializing. So, normally when "you" are happy you may not even notice that you don't like yourself, because you're too busy liking other people or how those people "make you feel." (it's really just liking the feeling you get, not so much liking yourself) True self-esteem doesn't come from outside sources, it is how YOU esteem yourself, therefore a suggestion that there is a possibility that you may not like yourself wouldn't effect you, unless you are in some way unsure of yourself in the first place.

  Of course, this is where many of us are at as ex-JWs, but I really don't even like using that label. That only speaks to our past, and I think we are so much more than that or atleast can be if we allowed ourselves to move on. See, you might say that these things are nobody's fault, but there's a difference between things that happend to you and how you ARE now. It's true the past affects the future, but that isn't something you have to worry about, it already happend and continues to happen moment to moment. What you CAN do is change directions and your thinking in the present moment and choose to let it go and seek out positive people and fulfilling things in life.

  I think sometimes our self-esteem may be low for a good reason, too. What I mean by that is our self concept may be shattered and from that we may feel pretty low. I know this has happend to me on more than one occassion, what some people might consider a shattering of the ego. Mind you, I don't think this is the ideal way to do things and it's certainly not for everyone, but I do know that I am a lot happier now and not much can bother me. The reason why this may be good is that it may be a false sense of self that was created during the years we were JWs, just as one example. I think when we cut through all the fictional stuff we create for ourselves, we find something that is much more valuable. Sometimes a bit of solitude is the perfect opportunity for this kind of self discovery.