Paradise Erf Fables

by Nosferatu 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • Nosferatu

    According to the JWs, in Paradise Erf, we will all be perfect, always smiling, and petting lions. What other fables have you heard about Paradise besides petting the damn lions?

  • Cassandra Cain
    Cassandra Cain

    Well honestly whenever I would try to think about the "thunderfull Paradise Erf" I would just get sad and cry because all I could think about was how almost all my family and friends would not live to see it because they Rejected Jah's "Troofull" message.


  • gitasatsangha

    Here are some myths of the paradize that I have heard before. (some of these were/are WTS opinions, others are just oddball things that various witnesses have believed and told others)

    everyone will be naked (I don't think that's an official one, just one that made the rumour rounds)

    (and yet conersely):

    there will be no offspring


    there will be no sex drive (otherwise god would be cruel, so it went)

    there will be specific locations to receive the resurreccted ones. (supposed to be areas already pretty-fied)

    the water canopy will return

    (and conversely)

    it wont rain anymore

    (on the same general idea)

    the seasons will end. (never figured that one out)

    aborted fetuses and miscarriages will not be resurrected


    aborted fetuses and miscarriages WILL be resurrected

    Folks from Sodom and Gomorra won't be invited (where will greenlees get his afterlife tail from?)


    Folks from Sodom and Gomorra WILL be invited (might as well.. no sex in the future anyway)

    We will populate the entire universe (As a World Empire of former window cleaners struggles to build it's first starship out of Armageddon War surplus. This one is very popular with trekkie dubs, of which there are many. But i think it also requires, realistically, that paradise survivors breed)

    After the devil is finally destyoed when someone forgets and leaves the avbyss door unlocked, then if you screw up you will get killed by god on the spot (how lovely), but since everyone has perfection at that point, it probably would not happen

    everyone will be some kind of yeoman farmer

    the deserts will bloom (that's bad news for the cacti and animals that already live there, of course..)

    we will have control over animals (I guess kind of like in the Beastmaster movies)

    (which basically leads to)

    we'll be vegetarians

  • Utopian_Raindrops

    I have to say that as a single mother I really looked forward to having a small cottage with a garden….maybe one-horse…..some instruments…..and raising my children in peace.

    Today for many……. in-laws….personal extended family…children’s fathers…. Public schools….etc. Can make raising children peacefully and lovingly a daily struggle.

    When I 1 st learned JW teachings I was a child in an extremely abusive home.

    I grew up to marry abusive spouses and still remained connected to my extended family I was born into.

    I am soft and peaceful….family is everything to me.

    I have to say the “Happy Family In Paradise Earth” is what made me bite the bait back when I was 9 turning 10.

    It is what I so desperately longed for and what my heart was sure Jehovah and Jesus wanted.

    I have met many others who fell pray to this teaching and found themselves in a worse family situation then before they became JW.

    This was the case for me anyway……everything became much worse.

    Just think……abusive spouse…..abusive parents always meddling……and an abusive religion!

    They do not offer Paradise they offer Hell!

    I must say to be a JW is to be Refined With Fire and life as one is a living Hell.

    My 2 cents of rant…..Utopian_Raindrops

  • Nosferatu

    "the seasons will end. (never figured that one out) "

    Well, this one makes sense. since we won't be killing animals, we'll have no fur coats to keep us warm in the winter. Leaves won't do much good in keeping you from freezing your balls off.

    However, I do recall that animals will grow old and die, and be able to keep on reproducing just to remind us what death is. However, when Erf gets full, humans will no longer reproduce.

  • gitasatsangha

    unless they find a way to build nonpolluting rockets to take them off earth.

  • gitasatsangha

    unless they find a way to build nonpolluting rockets to take them off earth.

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