I remembered something that was in my consiousness from back in the day. I went to the door of a very nice home and was greeted by a nice person. I presented the usual rehearsed salespitch and she said the oddest thing, "I tried Jehovah's Witness once, it just didn't work for me." We made small talk, she wished us well and we were on our way. I had completely forgotten about our conversation until a co-worker was asking me why I'm not a JW anymore (I stopped identifying myself as one about a year ago.) My response was, "I just doesn't work for me." I wasn't sure what made me respond that way, but it just seemed right.
I remember as I left that door thinking I wish I could be her, in that I mean confidently normal. I wish I could go back there and ask her how she got that way.
I would like to ask everyone how (or if) they ever got to a point they didn't think about being a JW anymore. That's what I really want. I don't want to be haunted anymore. I've gotten to a point where I definely do not ever want to go back, but I don't know how to move forward.
The slow fade is almost complete, my family may just give up and leave us alone. I think they don't want to push us too hard, because they don't want to loose us either.