I can't tell you how happy I feel after attending a seminar over the weekend, designed to help family and friends of substance users.
I went because my son uses marijuana, and although I don't believe he's at the worst end of the scale, I have seen the terrible effects it's had on him. The anger and potential violence is frightening, not to mention what it's doing to him emotionally. And prevention is always better than cure.
Once I would have gone to the elders to ask for help and more damage would be done. But I thank god that I'm out of the borg and away from their mind control, and now I get help from professionals and experts.
The group I met with were all parents and family of children ranging from 16-30s, who are using a substance that is having a negative effect on them and their loved ones. Not one JW to be seen, and yet everyone there all love their kids, we all want the best for them, we all want them to live, but the difference is we are prepared to do ANYTHING it takes to help our kids. JWs will NOT do whatever it takes to help their children if it goes against the WTS's regulations. If I was still in, I'm sure I would've been told to kick him out if he's using because it would influence the other family members, he would bring demons in, it would disrupt our theocratic routine etc, etc.
What I felt over the weekend was alot of love and support.........not only from the other parents but also from the VOLUNTEER leaders of the group. JWs aren't the only people that do volunteer work. The difference is that these people do their work out of love and understanding for the family and friends of drug and alcohol users. They care about the health and well-being of both the user and family. Their goal is to help the family be strong enough physically and emotionally to deal with the user, while at the same time being useful to the user on their road to recovery. Their goal is to keep the family united.
Over the weekend we talked about very deep, personal feelings and experiences, and each and everyone of us understood the depth of pain of the other. We were asked to bring photos of our loved ones (always emphasising the fact that the user is someone we love otherwise we wouldn't be there). When it came time to show the pictures to the others and give a brief history, not one of us were able to do it without breaking down in tears.
The program will continue next weekend and I can't wait to go. I have found it to be one of the most encouraging and useful things I could have done for myself, my son and my family. I learnt that people are good and loving, that our children need us to be there all the time because shi* does happen and where does it say at some point we stop supporting? I am so glad to be healthy enough to think for myself and to be free to love my child unconditionally...............something you aren't allowed to do as a JW. I would not have/have never had support from the JWs because they DON"T love from the heart. They are judgemental and self-righteous, that makes them useless, that makes them DANGEROUS. One of the first things we were told at the program was that 'EVERYONE has the right to be respected and keep their dignity, no matter who they are. It is a human right, the right of EVERY human'. How different things are in the WTS.
All I can say is that there are some great support groups out there, I'm glad I found the one I need and hope I get what I need from it to see my son grow through this time successfully.
Cheers, Bliss.