Interviews to select new Governing Body members

by Lostandfound 6 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Lostandfound

    Imagine the scene, a comfortable conference room in Brooklyn HQ, with a round table with a handful of current GB members on one side. A lone chair opposite is for the prospective new GB members to sit and be questioned as to their fitness

    Lett asks, "Have maintenance fitted your room with New Light bulbs?"

    and the next question "Hav e you kept the Old Light bulbs in case of any flip flop?"

    Bro Explain asks "Do you understand the Overlapping Generations teaching, because we don't "

    Herd asks " How good a speaker are you, asking for money while looking the camera right in the eye?"

    Another asks "Have you any idea what we can do next, because as sure as Hell we don't "

    Next question "At Warwick would you like a lake view or mountain view apartment, and how many rooms would you like, and do you prefer Walnut or Mahogany finish for the furniture?"

    Lett again "Do you know how to turn Left on an airplane, and as to cars and drivers, how many do you think would be sufficient"

    Splane again "Have you been a partaken or professed to be one for at least 28 days?"

    Herd again "Do you have any rich friends with villas we could holiday in?"

    Please add any things the.y could be asked in order to get promoted to this fabulously well rewarded position, responsible to no one, and with an adoring public drooling for your every word.

  • Vidiot

    The ultimate circle jerk. :smirk:

  • sparky1

    Or more precisely: A CIRCLE OF JERKS!

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    ...and will you be wiling to occasionally provide urine samples for random Kool-Aid screening throughout the year ?

  • jwleaks

    GB: We just need to ask you a few questions before appointing you to the governing body of jehovah's witnesses.


    GB: Firstly, rest assure that despite the Scriptural requirement of "two or more witnesses" to establish every matter we will not being asking you to provide any Scripturally based evidence or witnesses to establish that you are of the anointed class and chosen by jehovah and jesus.


    (Laughter all round)

    GB: Do you recognize the faithful and discreet slave as being jehovah's only channel and voice on Earth and upon appointment do you recognize yourself as being part of that slave and hence one of those voices?


    (Laughter all round)

    GB: Are you acts of pedophilia and child abuse known within the community?

    BROTHER CANDIDATE: No, there were never "two or more witnesses."

    (Roaring laughter all round)

    GB: Welcome brother as a member of the Guardians Of Doctrine.

  • jwleaks
    Vidiot: The ultimate circle jerk.
    Sparky1: a circle of jerks!

    Both wrong.

    The ultimate circle of jwerks!

    jwerk /dʒəːk/ noun

    1. a member of the governing body of jehovah's witnesses.

    2. informal - a religious fool who is neither inspired, nor infallible, but can err in doctrinal matters or in organization direction.

  • schnell

    I hear Geoffrey Jackson likes to jwerk it on the dance floor.

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